Total! Drama! Wally?
by Klimmatt
Summary: When Robin edits together a video of Wally and sends it out, it's only meant to be a simple joke. But when Wally winds up being accepted for the new hit reality show 'Total Dram Island', well, it creates a whole new set of problems for the young speedster.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer:** I don't own 'Young Justice' or 'Total Drama Island'. If I did, I wouldn't have to write fanfiction about them.

**Author's Note:** Okay, so, the basic premise of this story is, as the title suggests, putting Wally into the 'Total Drama' universe. This will basically be a retelling of TDI with Wally as one of the original 22 contestants (replacing Harold), with quite a few things alone the way being effected as Wally reacts to certain situations in different fashions and causes ripple effects throughout the game. Anyway, without further adieu, on with the story...

* * *

Standing on the bow of the speeding yacht, the wind and salty spray of the sea hitting his freckled face and a duffle bag at his feet as he approached the island setting of a decrepit old summer camp, the 16 year old Wallace Rudolph West cursed the day that a certain Boy Wonder had ever been born.

"Wally!" Greeted his host with a smile, filled with perfectly presented warmth and mirth, as the yacht came to a stop at the ricketiest old dock the red head had ever seen, "Great to see ya buddy!"

"Chris," Wally returned, not quite as jovially, as he jumped down onto the dock. His eyes cast out, past the dark haired host, to see the rest of teenagers behind him. He was the 16th to have arrived of the planned 22, but already he was struck with the diversity of the group. No two individuals seemed to match in size, shape or style... well, other than the pig-tailed twins, but even then it was only style.

"Nice to see you again," he said through gritted teeth.

"Heh heh," Chris chuckled, turning back to the crowd behind him to explain the hostility, "Wally here claims that someone forged his signature on his entry forms... buuut, since he can't prove it, the courts are forcing him to honor his contract. Lucky him, right?"

Despite the uncharacteristic frown marring his usually cheerful face, several of the gathered teens gave welcoming waves to the newest contestant, who halfheartedly waved back as he moved over to join them, and, after a moment's pause slapped his hand against the raised one offered by the blonde dude in the cowboy hat.

"Yo, dude," he said, wearing a smile that seemed too wide to be possible, "Name's Geoff."

Wally nodded his own greeting as the high five turned into a simple handshake with a big and broad black boy named DJ, the duo somehow absorbing him to stand between them.

A moment later the next yacht arrived and Chris had moved on to welcoming 'the Codemeister' to the island. After the Casanova wannabe came the musclebound Eva, followed by the cheerful as he was large Owen. Prim and polite Courtney and the male Adonis, Justin, with the 22nd and final contestant arriving not long after.

"Hi Chris!" The girl waved chirpily, bouncing around on the bow of her yacht as it neared. "Hi! Hi! Hi!"

It was right around then that Wally started paying attention, mainly because his fellow green-eyed red head, Izzy, managed to trip as she jumped from her yacht, smashing her chin on the edge of the wooden structure on her way down as she fell into the water below.

"Dude..." Tyler, a tracksuit sporting boy of Asian descent who had arrived sometime before Wally, hissed as he and numerous others winced sympathetically.

Wally didn't notice that. Years as the partner of the famed Central City hero 'the Flash' compelled him to act and he'd started moving the moment Izzy hit the dock and barely even a second later he was diving in right after her.

A few of the contestants managed to get to the edge of the dock in time to see the surface of the water, not yet calm after two such large disturbances, broke yet again as Wally and Izzy's heads appeared, Wally's arm hooking under Izzy's shoulder and encircling her torso, holding her afloat.

"Here!" Courtney offered urgently, crouching down and offering a hand to the supposedly injured girl, "I'll help you up."

"Ugh," she slurred woozily as both Courtney and Wally helped her back onto the dock, crouching heavily on all fours as though disorientated, "That felt so... good!"

In a flash, Izzy had leapt to her feet, her mouth spilling words at speeds that impressed even Wally as he lugged himself up after her.

"Except for hitting my chin," she continued, oblivious to the stares she was receiving as she looked around wildly, "This is summer camp? That is so cool! Do you have paper mache here? Are we having lunch soon?"

"That," Wally muttered dully, pulling himself to his feet, sneakers and socks squelching unpleasantly as water was squeezed out of them, "Is a good question. You sure you're okay, though?"

"I'm fine," she beamed proudly, "Nothing can keep Izzy down!"

"First thing's first," Chris interrupted, walking between them as he pulled a camera from his back pocket, "We need a group picture for the promos, so if everyone would gather at the end of the dock..."

Rolling his eyes at the host, Wally followed the crowd, winding up on the far left side of the group, right next to a very attractive blonde named Lindsey with Izzy crouching down in front of him.

"Say Wawanakwa!" Chris cheered, safely aboard the yacht as he waited for the inevitable.

"Wawanakwaaaaaargh!" The group replied... just as the rickety old dock collapsed under their collective weight, leaving Chris to capture a perfect moment of the entire cast falling into the water below.

"I love my job."

* * *

30 minutes later, having dried off and received a short tour of the camp's facilities, as well as a reminder of the omnipresent cameras and being told of the 'Confessional Can', Wally found himself on the male side of the 'Killer Bass' cabin, where the guys of his newly assigned team were unpacking as they exchanged a few basic pleasantries.

Wally gloomily flung his duffle bag up onto one of the top bunks, noticing afterwards that DJ had already claimed the bottom for his own when the much larger boy decided to get to know his bunkmate.

"Hi," he smiled, "Hope you don't snore."

Wally grinned guiltily as he looked down at DJ, "Just a little. Don't worry though, I've been told that I'll shut up if you whack me on the shoulder."

"Good to know," DJ smirked, before the meaty sound of a fist hitting flesh caught his ears and he looked over to the other side of the room, where it seemed that Duncan had just 'convinced' the much smaller Ezekiel to give up his own top bunk in favor of the mohawked punk. "Though I get the feeling that Duncan'll be only too happy to lend a hand in that situation."

"Yeah..." Wally muttered, realizing that same truth, "Maybe I should try and get a handle on my snoring."

* * *

**_Confessional Can: 10 minutes later_**

"Alright," Wally spoke plainly into the camera, safely secure in the privacy of the confessional can, "So, here's the deal. I didn't really sign up for this. A friend of mine forged my signature as a joke and then the whole thing just snowballed when I was accepted for the show. And, to be honest, ever since the courts said that I had to compete, well, I was planning on just getting myself voted off ASAP and heading home."

"But, now that I'm here..." he reluctantly admitted, "That $100,000 is looking awful tempting. And it's not like my teammates exactly suck..."

"I mean, sure," Wally shrugged, "Duncan probably belongs back in juvie... and Zeke and Sadie kinda weird me out, not to mention Izzy... but the rest of the Bass all seem decent enough."

"I don't know," he finally decided, leaning back on the crapper on which he was seated, "I guess I'll see how the first challenge goes and figure things out from there."

* * *

"Mph," Wally practically moaned as he stuffed his face with food, much to the astonishment of any and all nearby campers, as well as Chris and even Chef Hatchet himself.

"Hey," he mumbled through a mouthful of slop, noticing that neither of his neighbors at the table, DJ and Geoff, were touching their plates, "You guys gonna eat that?"

Both of the larger boys immediately glanced towards their Sloppy Joes, emphasis on the 'Sloppy', noticing that their meals were actually starting to shuffle away from their plates, before they speedily shoved their trays in front of their red headed teammate, who graciously fell upon them with all the enthusiasm of a cheetah pouncing on a particularly plump gazelle.

"Dude..." Duncan asked almost reverently, from the chair opposite Wally's own "How can you eat that?"

"Hmm?" Wally paused in his meal, noticing that he was drawing a fair amount of attention. More so than is considered wise for a superhuman trying to conceal their abilities from the world. "I'm, uh..."

That was a loaded question. The truth was that, as a speedster, Wally's incredibly quick metabolism had required a palate that was almost universally accepting of anything that could fit into his mouth (thanks in no small part to the vast majority of his taste buds being pretty much dead so, really, anything strong enough for him to actually taste seemed phenomenal to him), but somehow he doubted that that was the answer he should give.

"I'm hyperglycemic," he told them, swallowing his mouthful before he continued and hoping that either this portion of the show wouldn't air or that no one would think to check his claims. "I usually have to eat these absolutely _disgusting_ power bars just to keep my energy up. Compared to that, this stuff isn't half bad."

It wasn't exactly a _lie_, per se. Wally _did _have to munch on a lot of specially made power bars to keep up with his metabolism, after all. And he'd been told by numerous people (many of whom had immediately learned that it was never funny to steal a speedster's food) that the things tasted positively vile to most folk.

As luck would have it, even if anyone had had the information necessary to call Wally out on his falsifications, Chris, who _was_ satisfied by the answer (due largely to the fact that he truly did not care), quickly stole their attention as he gave the assembled teens their instructions for the first challenge.

Apparently, they needed to get changed into their swimsuits.

* * *

"Hey, man, wicked scars" Geoff noticed as the Killer Bass, already changed into their swimwear, began to hike up to the cliff where they would be meeting Chris. "How'd you get'em?"

Wally's eyes immediately darted to his exposed torso. Though his uniform was kevlar lined and the rate of his metabolism usually meant he healed pretty quickly, preventing most scars from lingering, there were still a few thin white lines of scar tissue that appeared randomly across his upper body, along with a few puckered circles that looked suspiciously like old bullet wounds and a small patch of skin on the small of his back that had never healed quite right after a serious case of road rash. A memento from one of the first and only times he had allowed himself to trip whilst moving faster than the speed of sound.

"Oh, nowhere interesting," he lied dismissively, "I'm just a bit of a klutz."

"Heh, I know how that goes," Bridgette smiled sympathetically, "You should see the scars I've got under this wetsuit."

"Sure!" Geoff blurted at the thought of seeing the surfer girl with lessened coverage, before the party animal realized that that might not have been a serious offer, "I mean... hey, is that the cliff!"

Geoff immediately hurried forwards, leaving a blushing Bridgette behind with the rest of the Killer Bass to catch up to him.

* * *

Wally peered cautiously over the edge of the seemingly thousand foot cliff, along with three or four of the other contestants as they tried to gauge exactly how dead they would be after making the jump that constituted their challenge.

In all honesty, he didn't really get what all the fuss was about. Then again, Wally had been doing what most people would consider daredevil stunts on a fairly regular basis ever since he'd gained his super speed, so perhaps his opinion wasn't 100% impartial.

"First challenge is easy," Chris smirked at the contestants, grabbing their attention as he begun to explain the nuances of the game, "All you gotta do is make the jump and you win a point for your team. Team with the most points at the end gets a major advantage in the next part of the challenge. Oh, and try to land in the small target zone... we're almost _completely_ pretty sure that there aren't any sharks in there."

"So," he clapped his hands together, beaming at the teens, "Team Killer Bass is up. Who wants to go first?"

Timidly stepping forward, the blonde surfer girl, Bridgette, hesitantly volunteered.

"It can't be that bad," she reasoned as she stepped up to the edge and carefully peered down, "Right?"

"I dunno," Chris shrugged nonchalantly, "I'm not the one who tested it out."

"Right," Bridge assured herself, "Just an insane cliff dive into a circle of angry sharks. Piece of cake."

And with that, she jumped, easily making it into the safe zone and kickstarting the remaining Killer Bass into gear.

Tyler, emboldened by her success, dove in next, followed by Geoff, Eva, Duncan and even Ezekiel, all of whom landed safely and without trouble.

Then came DJ.

"I don't think I can do this, man," he whimpered, staring fearfully down the cliff.

"Scared of heights?" Queried Chris innocently.

"Yeah," DJ nodded, "Ever since I was a kid."

"That's alright buddy," the host smiled serenely, "It just means you're a big old chicken."

"C'mon DJ," Wally stepped up next to the colossal teen, recognizing that he would need a push (perhaps literally), placing a hand gently on his shoulder and physically preventing him from turning away from the cliff, "If Zeke survived, I think you'll be fine."

"Yeah, but," DJ tried to back out, closing his eyes and refusing to look down, "I just can't do it."

"But the team needs you to," Wally wheedled, noticing the way that DJ's body seemed to steel at that. "What if all of the Gophers make it over the edge, huh? We'd lose without you!"

"You're right," he said strongly, standing tall and proud, ready to take on the world, "Momma didn't raise no quitter! I can't let my team down!"

It was then that he took another glance down at the lake below and wilted.

"Uh," he whimpered pitifully, closing his eyes, "Do you think you could give me a push?"

Wally shrugged, "If you say so."

One tiny little shove later and DJ went toppling over the edge, screaming in terror the whole way down before he landed safely in the target zone.

"Emotional crap," Chris declared, "Boring. Who wants to go next?"

The mocha skinned Courtney carefully stepped up to the edge, Wally taking his cue to take a step back and rejoin Izzy and Sadie.

"Excuse me, Chris," she said plainly, glancing disdainfully over the edge to the water below,"I have a medical condition."

"What condition?"

"A condition that prevents me from jumping off of _cliffs_."

"You can always chicken out," Chris shrugged, before turning back to the remaining Killer Bass, "Unless one of you would like to help her?"

"Ooh, ooh, my turn!" Izzy cheered, eagerly bouncing up to stand next to Courtney at the edge of the cliff.

"Look," Courtney offered, politely, if condescendingly, "That's nice of you, but you're not going to convince me to- hey!"

Izzy had stopped listening, casually reaching out and shoving the other girl over the edge with a manic grin.

"Heh heh," she beamed back at Chris, even as Courtney's screams were cut off by a rather loud 'splash' as she landed in the water below, "That was fun!"

"Yes. Yes it was," Chris smiled back at her, turning back to Wally, "See? _That's_ what you shoulda done with DJ. Just walk right up and push. _Much_ more entertaining."

"Sadie," he then called, "You're up!"

"I'm not jumping without Katie," the plump girl cried vehemently, stepping away from the Killer Bass to stand with her BFF and the Screaming Gophers.

"We _have_ to be on the same team, Chris," Katie pleaded, "Please?"

"Please?" Both girls were now begging, jumping around Chris as they tried desperately to convince him, "Can we? Can we? Can we?"

It was then that Wally noticed that Izzy, already bored of the duo's antics, was raising her hand, "I'll sw-"

Wally clamped a hand over her mouth and shushed her.

"Hey, Chris," he called out, forcing himself not to let go as Izzy started to lick the palm of his hand. Robin often used similar tactics when Wally tried to shut him up (usually whenever they were in public and his preferred method of simply placing Wally into a submission hold would raise suspicions), so it wasn't difficult to ignore. "If it's alright with the Screaming Gophers, why don't we just let Sadie switch places with one of them?"

Chris, focussed on the incredibly irritating pair in front of him, did not notice that Wally was still silencing Izzy and, due to his notoriously thin patience, broke.

"Fine," he relented, turning to the team that had yet to jump, "Ladies of the Screaming Gophers. Do we have any volunteers to switch places with Tweedle Dimwit over here?"

Gwen, the generally lovable goth, immediately glanced around at her teammates, noticing several that she'd already come to dislike. Heather rubbed her the wrong way. Lindsey was an idiot. Owen seemed nice... but he seriously stank up the cabin and Cody had already tried to perv on her once today. Plus, her bunk _had_ been destroyed during the whole cockroach fiasco...

"Sure," she shrugged, stepping forward, "I'll switch."

"Perfect," Chris sighed, waving Sadie and Katie over to the Screaming Gophers, not paying any mind to a cursing Wally, who's hand had finally left Izzy's mouth after the girl had given up on licking and started biting enthusiastically, "Now you two stay over there until it's your turn to jump."

"What was that for?" Wally muttered irritably, rubbing at his injured hand and not releasing his hold as Izzy continued to gnash her teeth together, "Now neither of us have to deal with the gruesome twosome!"

"Oooh," Izzy straightened, free of the speedster's grip as her mind worked to understand the thinking of her teammate. If she had volunteered, then Wally would have been forced to deal with both Katie _and_ Sadie. By doing it his way, however, Wally had managed to get _both_ of them away from himself as well as Izzy. "Devious. Izzy likes."

* * *

**_Confessional Can_**

"Okay," Wally admitted to the camera, "Maybe dumping Sadie from the team wasn't the nicest thing to do, but I don't think I could've dealt with her _and_ Katie... which is weird now that I think about it. I used to love girls like them."

Smirking slightly in the corner of his mouth, Wally chuckled, "But I guess that was before I started dating this girl back home. You hear that, Artemis? You're corrupting me!"

"Oh, and while I'm talking to you," he remembered, before continuing under his breath, "(Assuming this thing even airs.) Try and keep Rob alive for me. I wanna kill him when I get home for stranding me out here in the first place!"

* * *

With the team switching done, Chris quickly announced it to be Wally's turn, which he completed without hesitation, taking a quick, three step run up before diving off the cliff.

"Hmm," Izzy mused to herself thoughtfully after watching Wally take the leap, "Sexy red head... Intriguing scars... Devious mind... Reckless abandon... how is he with explosives?"

"Well," Chris interjected loudly, pulling out a file labeled 'Confidential' from who knows where and studying it critically, "According to this here permanent record, Wally's been involved in numerous infractions at his high school involving stink bombs and other small scale chemical weapons... and he somehow managed to blow up his bedroom with a child safe chemistry set when he was 12. A couple of forensic scientists are still trying to figure out how he pulled that one off."

Eyes widening with interest and joy, Izzy's mouth twisted into a manic grin.

"Ladies," she called out loudly to Gwen and the Screaming Gophers behind her, "Izzy's calling dibs!"

A moment later, she took her own running leap off the cliff, giggling maniacally all the way down and leaving Chris to chuckle at her outburst.

"Someone should probably tell her that Wally's got a girlfriend back home," he mused thoughtfully, once the group had heard the telltale 'splash' informing them that Izzy had hit the water. "Nahh. This'll be way more fun!"

* * *

Wally watched safely from the shore as Gwen made the final jump for the Killer Bass team, leaving them with a perfect score of 11/11 jumpers.

"Yes!" Geoff cheered, "Alright man! No way we can lose!"

This time, when Geoff offered the high five, Wally accepted it enthusiastically and without hesitation, and they and DJ turned to watch as the Screaming Gophers took their turn.

At first, it seemed like a tie was imminent. Heather came crashing down into the lake, Leshawna not long after and with Lindsey hot on their heels. Katie and Sadie made the leap together and Cody then led the way for Noah and Justin.

With only three divers remaining, however, tragedy struck the Gophers when Beth proved unable to jump. Though the remaining Gophers, Trent and Own, tried to convince her, they ultimately failed, and neither of the boys had the heart to force the girl over the edge.

"Alright campers," Chris jeered, walking calmly down to the beach with Trent, Owen and Beth, who was forced to don the chicken hat of shame, in tow, "Since Beth is a little fraidy cat, first challenge goes to the Killer Bass!"

The host left a little pause in there for the winning team to cheer their victory.

"Now, as the victors," he continued, "You guys get a major advantage for this next part of the challenge. Over to your left, you will see a large number of crates. Inside are the various components needed to construct a functioning hot tub. First team to get the crates back to camp and put the thing together gets a totally rocking hot tub party tonight while the losers send someone home."

"For your advantage," Chris explained cheerfully, drawing the teens' attention to a number of carts with a wave of his hand, "The Killer Bass get to use these to pull the crates along. Now get going!"

* * *

Between Duncan, Eva, DJ and Geoff, moving the crates onto the carts was no problem, and moving them from there was even easier. The tricky part was waiting for them at the campsite.

Opening the crates with their teeth was a challenge and a half, but, despite several team members getting minor rope burn and splinters in their lips and tongues, the Killer Bass managed it before the Screaming Gophers even arrived at the cabins.

Once the hard part was done with, actually constructing the hot tub was something of a breeze. Geoff had put dozens of the things together in preparation for various parties in his life and, well, Wally knew how to make a functioning EMP generator out of things lying around Mount Justice. Compared to that a hot tub was easy to figure out, even with Courtney's attempts to take charge of the operation and Izzy's multiple endeavors to try and turn several mechanisms into explosives.

Izzy was really starting to worry a few people.

But with DJ desperately trying to make up for his almost failing to make the jump and just about everyone else being mostly willing to lend a hand towards their victory, the hot tub was soon constructed and the Killer Bass declared the victors of the day's challenge.

"Perfect," Chris announced, "Screaming Gophers. I'll see you at the Campfire Ceremony after dinner. Say goodbye to one of your teammates!"

* * *

A half hour later, as the sun started to set on the horizon, both of the teams assembled in the dining hall to eat another meal of Chef's disgusting slop. Well, disgusting to everyone bar Wally, who still insisted that, at the very least, it was edible and, despite appearances to the contrary, somewhat nutritious. Probably.

As he ate, Wally chatted amiably with DJ and Geoff, occasionally sharing words with Bridgette, Izzy and others as they all darted in and out of conversations.

"Man," DJ sighed, looking over at the much less cheery Screaming Gopher table, where it looked as though Beth, the girl who had cost her team the challenge, was set to be voted off first, "It's a shame that they have to vote someone off. I _still_ can't believe we won."

"I'm not, eh," Ezekiel announced confidently, "After all, we've got six guys on our team."

Ezekiel failed to notice Bridgette's confused frown or Eva leaning dauntingly towards him.

"What's that supposed to mean?" The wrestler asked sternly.

"Well, you know," Zeke shrugged obliviously, "Guys are much stronger and better at sports than girls, and the Gophers only have 5 dudes on their team, so we had a pretty major advantage."

"Dude," Wally breathed as he shook his head softly, noticing that now both Gwen and Izzy were moving to join Bridgette and Eva in their preparations to pound the home-schooled teen.

Before Zeke could continue his unwitting endeavor to dig his own grave, Geoff stepped in. Honestly trying to save the little dude from his fate, but ultimately failing when Zeke revealed that he was not yet done, further stating that he believed, not only was it his duty to protect and aid the females of the camp, but that he and the other males were naturally more intelligent than them as well.

* * *

**_Confessional Can_**

"Well Zeke's screwed," Wally bluntly stated, though the audience was already well aware of the fact, "Dude is so unbelievably lucky that the Gopher's lost today's challenge."

Pausing for a moment to let out a few chuckles, Wally slowly started to sober as he looked up and stared at the camera.

"Well, Artemis," he gave a small wave, "If you're watching this, I guess I'm staying here for a while. I mean, the Bass won this round and, to be honest, I don't think that I could get voted off before Ezekiel if I tried at this point. So... I guess I'll see you later then. Hopefully when I'm a hundred thousand dollars richer!"


	2. Chapter 2

Over the course of the next three days, Wally explored Camp Wawanakwa thoroughly, keeping his eyes open and noting the positions of any and all surveillance cameras (his years of dodging Bat Cameras serving him nicely in that regard), finding that everywhere he went was under constant view of at least two cameras, much to his everlasting annoyance. He wouldn't be running out for take-out any time soon.

It truly amazed him that a show with such a terrible budget for accommodations could afford such extensive camera coverage. Though, now that he thought about it, that may have been where the funding had come from.

In that time, he managed to really bond with Geoff and DJ, the former being a renowned party animal and the latter simply being too nice _not _to befriend. In much the same way, Wally found that Bridgette, when she and Geoff weren't dancing around each other, was also difficult to dislike.

He stayed away from Ezekiel though. The kid was poison in its purist form. The girls all hated him for what he'd said after the first challenge, which meant that the guys could hardly be seen with him for fear of being considered Zeke sympathizers and joining him in his exile. Or, worse, if Artemis or, heaven forbid, _Aunt Iris, _were to believe that he sympathized with the misogynistic worldview that the kid spouted obliviously? Wally shuddered to even think about it.

It was on the third morning after winning themselves a hot tub that Chris told them of their second challenge, waking them all at the crack of dawn especially for the momentous occasion.

Rubbing the sleep out of his eyes, hearing that he and the others had ten minutes to be ready, Wally purposefully rolled over the edge of his bed, falling down to the floor where he landed in a crouch. Dropping down to the ground, Wally reached underneath DJ's bunk in order to reach his duffle bag, pulling it out into the open so that he could get to his stuff.

Sleepily, Wally reached in, honestly not caring what he pulled out. It wouldn't make a difference, after all. It was all the same.

That had actually been a part of the contract. Once they had boarded their individual yachts, each of the contestants had found their luggage tampered with. Any personal artifacts, swimsuits, pajamas and undergarments had been left alone, but all of their other clothing had been replaced by five identical outfits that were unique to each individual.

Wally didn't really understand the reasoning behind it, but he was left with five sets of white sneakers, five pairs of identical jeans, five long sleeved pale yellow shirts and five short sleeved button up red shirts. He supposed that he should be grateful that it wasn't his Kid Flash uniform.

He and the other males yawned sleepily as they pulled their clothes on, all of them finding it easier to just shower in the evening rather than risk going over the time limit, then grabbing their toothbrushes and, in a few cases, their shaving kits before making their ways to the communal bathroom to complete their daily rituals, hurrying to finish before the challenge began.

* * *

Wally was ready to laugh.

The challenge was to run 20km around the lake. He could _literally_ do that in seconds.

However, in order to preserve his identity, Wally elected to keep pace with Tyler and Eva, the designated 'athletes' of the group, forcing himself to lag behind a bit when they reached the 5km mark purely because they were boring the hell out of him.

He wound up running- well, _jogging _in his case- next to Bridgette and Justin for the rest of the challenge and, though the model may not have been overly talkative, Bridgette was good for a chat that managed to distract him enough to keep him from tearing his hair out at the painfully slow pace they were setting.

When they did eventually return to the main lodge, they got to settle in for the boring part. Waiting. For hours. For the walkers to finally catch up.

They had started running at 7:30AM. Wally had reached the lodge by around ten. The walkers didn't even start showing up until twelve. And in all that time, none of the competitors were allowed to leave the main lodge and nobody was given food.

By that point, Wally would have been running up the walls out of sheer boredom if he hadn't been so hungry.

He was really starting to hate Chris Mclean.

* * *

The door slammed open as Owen rushed in, holding an unconscious Noah in his arms as he screamed for help.

"Clear a table!" He yelled urgently, not even waiting before dumping his teammate down and attempting CPR.

"Great," Wally called out from the corner, where he had been trying to deal with the gaping black hole in his stomach, "Everyone's here now, Chris. Killer Bass win the second challenge. Now feed me!"

"Oh, you haven't won the challenge yet," Chris informed the teens smugly, turning to the curtained off area and signaling for Chef to unveil what lay beyond it, "But for now, you're right Wally, we should feed you."

A tug on a single rope and Chef unveiled the most beautiful buffet ever constructed by man. Or at least, that's what it appeared to be to the starving teens who had been eating nothing but slop for the past three days.

Wally was on his feet in an instant, running towards the buffet and only barely remembering to keep his speed at human levels as he screamed at the top of his lungs, "DIBS ON THE TURKEY!"

* * *

One somewhat rabid feasting later and everyone present was summarily stuffed and bloated with food, the sole exception being Wally who, due to his metabolism, could probably have gone for another turkey or two.

"So," queried Gwen lazily, her eyelids heavy and her stomach full, "Who won the challenge?"

"We haven't had it yet," Chris cheekily informed her.

"What?" Heather blurted angrily, "Haven't we been through enough?"

"Um, let me think," Chris muttered sarcastically, "No! It's time for... the Awake-A-Thon!"

"Awake-A-Thon?" Wally queried cautiously.

"I'm glad you asked," Chris grinned, "The Awake-A-Thon is probably the easiest challenge in the game. All you've gotta do is stay awake for as long as you can. Last man standing wins for their team."

"So the 20k run and the turkey feasting frenzy was all just a part of your evil scheme to make it harder for us to stay awake?" Gwen asked, outraged.

"Yup."

"Damn he's good."

As Chef slowly directed the 21 teens to the site of the campfire, where the competition would be officially taking place, not a single person could disagree with Gwen's assessment.

* * *

**_Awake-A-Thon: 3 Hours in_**

"Bored," Wally moaned softly as he lay against one of the stumps that served as a seat for the campfire site, "So bored."

So far everyone was still awake, though they largely wished that they weren't. Staying awake was difficult, but doable for the time being, particularly for Wally, who's best friend was perhaps the epitome of night owls, and Duncan, who did most of his best work after hours. Dealing with the boredom as well, though? It was driving them nuts.

"So let's talk," Bridgette yawned, turning over to the boredom struck red head, drawing in Geoff and DJ.

"Sure," Geoff agreed amiably, if tiredly, to the surfer's suggestion, "About what?"

"I don't know," she groaned, already exhausted by just offering the 'talk' suggestion, "What made everyone sign up for TDI?"

"Looked like it'd be a rad party," Geoff told her, suffering through several irony laced snorts of derision.

"Same here," DJ admitted, "I saw the brochure and thought that it'd be fun."

"Mm," Bridgette agreed, "I saw the pictures of the five-star resort, complete with a totally awesome beach."

"You were robbed," Wally said supportingly, proving that, despite his closed eyes, he was still awake.

"What about you, dude?" Geoff asked, "Didn't Chris mention something about a court forcing you to compete? Were you in juvie like Duncan?"

"Nah," Wally's head shook in his denial, "A 'friend' forged my signature on the application forms and sent in this audition video that he edited together. Next thing I know I'm being shanghaied to Canada for a TV show I'd never even heard of."

"Wait," Bridgette stopped him, "I thought that only Canadian citizens were eligible?"

"They are," Wally admitted, "My lawyers thought of that too, but I've got dual citizenship. Same as Justin."

That had actually been something of a shock to Wally, but it turned out that, when Batman and Superman had initially brokered the Justice League's alliance with the United Nations, Bruce Wayne had subtly ensured that all Justice League members and associates had the legal equivalency of citizenship in all UN recognized nations, just in case. In case of what, Wally wasn't quite sure, nor did he know exactly how the billionaire had managed to keep all of the League members' identities a secret in doing so, but that didn't change the fact that he had managed it.

"My 'friend' 'supposedly' didn't know that little nugget of information when he came up with his 'prank'."

"And you couldn't just say that it was a mistake?" DJ queried.

"I couldn't get him to 'fess up what he did," he told them, remembering how Robin's secret identity had, once again, caused a hell of a lot of trouble to keep, "So the show's lawyers decided I just had a case of cold feet and the courts forced me to honor my contracts."

There was a short pause as Geoff, DJ and Bridgette shared a questioning glance, before the surfer girl finally spoke up.

"No offense," she said gingerly, "But it sounds like your friend is a bit of a dick."

"..."

Wally was silent for a full five seconds, staring in wide-eyed awe at Bridgette before he started to giggle softly. Wally giggled like a tittering schoolgirl for a full minute, slowly growing in both power and volume until the giggling transformed into full blown, gut wrenching, Joker worthy maniacal laughter that drew in the attention (and concern) of the entire cast.

"...Wally?" Bridgette said cautiously, as the boy started to slam his fist into the ground and tears of mirth filled his eyes.

"He's a dick," he sputtered, in between peals of laughter as he struggled to regain his breath, "He's _totally_ a dick!"

"Wally..." Chris interjected a few moments later, as the laughter started to recede back into giggling, "You about done with your psychotic break yet?"

"I'm good," he announced, holding his hands up placatingly as he pulled himself into a seated position, still breaking into fits of giggling every few seconds, "I'm good!"

"Wow," Izzy appeared from behind the stump Wally had been leaning on, completely energized to the point where some of the contestants suspected she had managed to smuggle caffeine onto the island. "That sounded funny! What was the joke?"

"Long story," Wally chuckled, wiping the tears of mirth from his eyes as the cast still eyed him warily.

"No dice," the girl denied, shaking her head vigorously, "Izzy wants to know the joke."

Wally grinned up at her, "My friend's a dick."

"Ha!" Izzy laughed merrily, before sobering instantaneously and turning bluntly confused, "I don't get it."

"Are you sure that you're alright?" Bridgette offered, Geoff and DJ sharing in her concern as various others watched on with interest.

"I'm fine," he assured the crowd cheerfully, "But you're right, Bridge. My friend is _such_ a dick. The biggest dick in the history the world. In fact, until I get back home and kill him, I'm going to call him Dick."

"Oooo-kay?" Bridgette said carefully, still unable to find the hilarity of the situation.

* * *

**_Confessional Can_**

"You hear that, Artemis?" Wally cheered into the camera, shaking with barely repressed laughter, "From now on, Rob's name is Dick. Remember that!"

* * *

"Hmm," Chris mused, "The censors are _not_ going to be happy about that..."

Pondering silently on the quandary, Chris soon shrugged. "Oh well, not _my_ job to deal with them."

* * *

**_Awake-A-Thon: 7 Hours in_**

It had taken a while, but people eventually stopped looking at Wally like he was completely insane. Mostly because he had sobered up right around the time Ezekiel had casually commented that he had expected one of the girls to crack first.

"Dude," Wally winced, watching powerlessly as Bridgette, Eva, Izzy, Gwen, and now even Courtney cornered the homeschooled kid.

"Been nice knowing him," Geoff commented absently.

"He will be missed," DJ agreed halfheartedly.

"Homeschool, we hardly knew ye," Tyler saluted.

"This'll be good," Duncan grinned.

* * *

**_Awake-A-Thon: 7 Hours, 2 Minutes in_**

Ezekiel was now knocked solidly unconscious, technically disqualifying him from the competition, the girls now focussing their collective gaze on the remaining boys.

"We're going to sleep," Bridgette informed them coldly, "Now."

"But, Bridge," Geoff reminded her, "We'll totally lose the challenge."

"We know," Eva hissed.

"And we'll have to vote someone off," DJ said confusedly.

"Exactly," Gwen stated harshly.

Duncan looked as though he might want to argue, as did Wally, but both were savvy enough not to try and argue against the ladies. Ezekiel was leaving the island and nothing that they did was going to change that fact. They simply lay themselves down and closed their eyes, allowing sleep to claim them as quickly as possible.

* * *

**_Awake-A-Thon: 7 Hours, 41 Minutes In_**

Chris watched patiently as the final Killer Bass, Tyler, finally succumbed to both the ladies' orders and his own desire to sleep, loudly proclaiming to the remaining team, who had yet to lose even a single member.

"Screaming Gophers are the winners!" He cheered, "Killer Bass..."

The host paused for a moment, noticing a small flaw in his plan before he simply shrugged and turned away, "Someone come and get me when they start to wake up and we'll do the Campfire Ceremony."

The Bass snored on peacefully.

* * *

Six hours later and the Killer Bass were finally starting to stir. Eva, the first to awaken, was informed of the team's loss, accepting it with a vicious grin as she went around kicking her various teammates awake, dragging them along with her to the campfire site for the elimination.

Wally, still half asleep, stumbled along gracelessly, he and Geoff leaning against each other in order to support their sleep deprived bodies, DJ carefully walking behind them, ready to catch either of them should they fall.

"Okay," Chris greeted them with none of his usual aplomb, "You guys weren't the only one to lose out on sleep, so let's get this over with."

Pointing to the Confessional Can, their host quickly explained the process of announcing their votes to the audience as they placed them into the ballot box, before grumpily walking off to get himself some coffee and a bag of marshmallows.

When they regrouped a few minutes later, Chris was once again wide awake for the cameras, knowing with certainty that the Campfire Ceremony would be aired and not content to look anything less than his best.

"Okay," he said, clapping his hands together with renewed vigor, "Here's how it works. Before us, I have just 10 marshmallows. When I call your name, come up and claim your marshmallow. Whoever does not receive a marshmallow must immediately return to the Dock of Shame, catch the Boat of Losers and leave Camp Wawanakwa forever!"

The Killer Bass, as one, shared a single glance, knowing with certainty who would be leaving. After all, though the girls didn't quite hold the majority, the guys weren't unified, and most of them had voted for Ezekiel out of a simple desire for group cohesiveness anyway.

"Sorry Zeke," Chris grinned with false sympathy when he handed off the final marshmallow to Izzy, "But it's Loserville for you, eh."

"Bummer..." Ezekiel sighed in resignation, "Eh."

* * *

A few hours after the Killer Bass's first elimination, DJ finally caught up to Wally on his way to the main lodge for a meal.

"Hey, man," the larger boy greeted, "Can I talk to you for a sec?"

"Sure," Wally agreed reluctantly, giving a quick glance to the lodge where he knew food was waiting for him, "What's up?"

"I just wanted to ask if you were all right," DJ told him, "I mean, you were kinda nutty in that last challenge. Nuttier than Izzy even."

"Oh, that," Wally grinned sheepishly, "Yeah, I get kinda whacked out when I haven't had any sleep and my blood sugar gets a little low. Plus, the whole 'Dick' thing's part of this running joke I've got going on with my buddy back home. Hearing Bridgette call him that... I went a little crazy, y'know?"

"Yeah," DJ seemed not entirely convinced, "So, are you sure you're gonna be okay? A few of us were pretty worried, man."

"So long as I get enough sleep and a decent meal, I should be fine," Wally smiled genially.

"Well, if you're sure," DJ took that as his cue to leave, heading back up to the Killer Bass cabin rather than suffer through more of Chef's cooking, "I'll see you later then."

"See ya," Wally waved, turning back to his pursuit of food before he was stopped again, this time by Izzy appearing from the shadows of twilight.

"Izzy doesn't buy it," she said, standing her ground staunchly between Wally and the main lodge. "'Fess up."

"Hmm?" Wally played dumb.

"Tell Izzy why you were laughing," she ordered, "Or Izzy will tell the team that you're still acting crazy."

"Crazier than you?" He raised an eyebrow disbelievingly.

"If Izzy didn't act crazy, that would be crazy," Izzy justified, "Wally acting crazy is something to be wary of."

"Alright," Wally shrugged, before eyeing their surroundings carefully for cameras, "You really wanna know the joke? Lean in close 'cause I don't want the whole world to hear this."

Izzy smirked manically, turning her head and bringing her ear as close to Wally's lips as she could manage.

"My friend's real name is Richard," he whispered quietly, "So he's actually called..."

"Dick!" Izzy finished, laughing loudly as she turned back to face Wally, making no move to step away from him, "That is pretty funny. Izzy excuses you, but is disappointed that your insanity was not genuine."

"Good," Wally grinned, as he carefully maneuvered the crazy girl so that she was now facing the main lodge and started walking the two of them in that direction, "Now, I'm hungry. Let's go eat."

* * *

In a studio not far from the red heads' position, Chris Mclean turned away from the screen which had just displayed their discussion, though Wally's whispering had not been caught (though not through lack of trying) by the microphone, facing the camera as he began to speak.

"Well now, what was that all about?" He queried to the audience, "Is Izzy making her move on Wally? Will Wally remain faithful to his girlfriend back home? And _what_ is the story behind his mysterious friend, known only as 'Dick'? Find out next time (maybe) here on Total! Drama! Island!"


	3. Chapter 3

**_Confessional Can_**

"Okay, so, I think I'm in a little trouble with the Killer Bass after that last challenge" Wally sighed into the camera, "But, as any of my friends back home'll tell you... Dodgeball? _So_ not my game."

Well, not if he wanted to keep his identity secret at least. Breaking land speed records with ease was one thing, everyone back at Keystone High knew for a fact that Wally was quick like a bunny when properly motivated by the threat of pain or the promise of food, so as long as he kept things below superhuman he should be fine. But they also knew that he was an uncoordinated mess when it came to any other kind of sporting activity. And, since TDI was being broadcasted across all of North America, Wally had been forced to ensure that he sucked worse than Tyler on the court and sit out on as much of the game as he could.

Thankfully, with Duncan well rested and his prison tactics on their side, as well as Eva's strength and ferocity, the Killer Bass had taken an early lead and kept it, saving Wally from the threat of elimination.

"But anyway," Wally tried to shake off his doubt, "With this next challenge, I think I can really prove myself to the team. I mean, I do have a couple of pretty interesting talents... some of which can even be shown on T.V.!"

* * *

"As a former CIT," Courtney began imperiously as she paced before the assembled Killer Bass team, "I believe that it falls to me to arrange this showcase of talent and entertainment."

"Now, obviously," she continued, making a few notes on her clipboard, completely oblivious to the fact that several of her teammates were rolling their eyes in irritation, "Only three of us will be able to compete in this event, so we will have to ensure that only our most talented members get up on stage. Would anyone like to audition?"

"Ooh!" DJ raised his hand enthusiastically, rising to his feet in his excitement, "I've got just the thing! Wait here!"

With that, the behemoth disappeared into his cabin, reappearing an instant later wearing a white one-piece outfit and holding a long pink ribbon.

Courtney almost threw her clipboard at the boy for making a mockery of her auditions before he started to dance, proving that, despite his great size, DJ was incredibly graceful, even elegant in his movements as he twirled his ribbon around his dancing frame with deceptive ease.

"...okay," Courtney reluctantly admitted, once DJ's dance had come to a halt, "I guess he's in. Anyone else?"

"I've got something that could work," Wally offered as DJ proudly reclaimed his seat, darting back into the cabin to retrieve the sack he had prepared earlier.

Moving back into view of his small audience, Wally reached into the sack and pulled out a trio of knives of varying sizes.

"Hold up!" Courtney objected loudly, "Where did you get those?!"

"Borrowed them from Chef," Wally shrugged sheepishly.

"He just let you take them?" Duncan asked disbelievingly.

Wally's eyes shifted cautiously, "He may not actually know that I'm borrowing them."

"Wait," Duncan's eyes zeroed in on one of the knives still in the sack, recognizing this seemingly insignificant pen knife from the others, "That one's mine!"

"I also may have borrowed one from Duncan," he shrugged again, "Moving on."

With that, Wally quickly threw the three knives already in his hands into the air, catching them carefully by the handles as they began to fall and easily beginning to juggle the flashing blades with a smile on his face.

He was cheating a little, he would admit. His superhuman reflexes ensured he was able to carefully catch each knife by its handle, but, then again, this was the warmup. The main act had nothing to do with his speed.

Stopping the display when he refused to throw the knives any longer, Wally took a quick bow to his audience before straightening and opening his mouth again.

"For this next part," he announced, "I'm going to need a volunteer!"

"Who would be crazy enough to get near you while you juggle knives!" Courtney objected, just as Izzy leaped to her feet with a cheer.

"...of course," Courtney muttered under her breath, watching carefully as Izzy allowed Wally to stand her against a tree. "Isn't this a little-"

"Get over it, Princess," Duncan shushed her, watching on with interest as Wally put some distance between himself and his target.

"I don't think this is a good idea," DJ whimpered, hands covering his eyes as he refused to watch, "Tell me when it's over."

DJ kept his eyes closed for the entire show, hearing only the numerous 'thuds' of the knives hitting home. It was only when he heard cheering that he finally allowed himself to open his eyes and took in the sight of Wally bowing proudly, Izzy's form almost perfectly framed by about a half a dozen knives lodged solidly into the wood behind her.

"Wow," Bridgette exclaimed, impressed, "Where'd you learn how to do that?"

"From my friend, Dick" Wally smirked, "I think I mentioned him back during the Awake-A-Thon."

"Where'd he learn?" Geoff asked, "What, was the dude raised in the circus or something?"

Wally snickered smugly, "As a matter of fact..."

"Uh, no offense Wally," Izzy objected, looking at the knife embedded tree trunk critically after Courtney reluctantly agreed to allow him a place on the roster, "But you're not as good as you thought you were. You didn't even hit me once!"

* * *

Several hours later, the talent show was finally underway at the hastily constructed amphitheater.

Killer Bass were up first with DJ's ribbon dancing which, as it turned out, was something of a train wreck. DJ somehow managed to get his ribbon tangled around his legs as he leaped, bringing him crashing down to earth. Judge Chef only gave him 2 points out of a possible 9.

The next contestant, Justin of the Screaming Gophers, put on an interesting show... for the ladies at least.

"Huh," Wally grunted, noticing how every female set of eyes in the surrounding area (along with Chef and Owen) were drawn to Justin's glistening frame like moths to a flame. "Never thought I'd meet someone who could do that better than Conner."

For his modeling display, Justin was awarded a 6.

Courtney was next up, performing a classical piece on her violin. _Technically_ it was very well done. Everyone who heard it could tell that it had been performed with near flawless precision. Unfortunately...

"Five?" Courtney screamed, once Chef had announced her score, "I got a _five_!?"

"Them's the breaks, kid," Chris shrugged nonchalantly, "You were boring. Five was generous."

"A _five_!" She repeated, before Bridgette came and quietly ushered her off the stage.

"Next up, we have... Heather," Chris announced to the viewers at home, once the stage had been cleared.

The Queen Bee of the Screaming Gophers came out and performed a quick ballet number. Like Courtney's performance, it was precision at its finest. Unfortunately for the Gophers, also like Courtney, it wasn't quite showy enough to get Chef's approval.

And, with the Screaming Gopher's leading with Justin's score of 6/9, Wally stepped onto the now empty stage with a sack of knives in his grip and a grin on his face.

With ease, Wally started juggling, keeping the impressive display going for almost a full minute before calling on Izzy for the more interesting portion of his small exhibition.

"Dude," Chris openly applauded when he was done, again leaving a perfect framing of Izzy's form into the oversized wooden target behind her, some knives coming within centimeters of Izzy's perfectly calm, almost bored, body. "That was reckless, dangerous _and_ suspenseful!"

Chuckling to himself, the host smirked, "I couldn't have planned it better myself and, if it were up to me, you'd be getting full marks."

"Unfortunately," he continued in an overly cheerful manner, directing Wally's attention over to an irate Chef, "He gets to do it. And he's not too happy about you stealing his knives. As a result... you're disqualified."

"So, thanks to Justin's godlike abs and Wally's sticky fingers, the Screaming Gophers are today's winners," Chris announced, "Killer Bass, I'll be seeing you at the campfire ceremony."

With that, their host turned and walked away, Chef stepping grouchily up to the stage to snag his knives back before following, giving Wally a terrifying glare as he left.

"Well," Wally muttered, still up on stage, glancing around at his teammates, several of whom were looking at him with rage in their eyes, "That didn't go _quite_ like I expected."

* * *

**_Confessional Can_**

"Artemis," Wally slumped, "Looks like I might be seeing you sooner than I expected."

* * *

"And we're down to our last two marshmallows," Chris proclaimed stoically, "And our last three contestants all have some pretty good reasons for being voted off."

"DJ," he chose to start with the largest of the three, "You screwed up a routine that you already proved you could do and may very well have cost your team the challenge. Maybe. I kinda doubt it though."

"Courtney," Chris moved on to the only female left without a marshmallow, "Your control freak tendencies really came out to play this episode which, while fun for me and the viewers, may have rubbed your buddies the wrong way. Especially since you put yourself into the talent show over Geoff's righteous boarding skills... and then _lost_."

"And, finally," he turned to the final contestant, "Wally. Stealing Chef's knives got what should have been a guaranteed win discounted. You should've just used Duncan's."

Wally actually wilted under the weight of the numerous glares he was under.

"So," Chris clapped his hands together excitedly, "Let's see who's going home. DJ?"

The dark-skinned boy looked up nervously, only to wince as a marshmallow hit him in the face, bouncing down into his waiting hands.

Courtney and Wally shared a look, both of them unknowingly in agreement of who they believed would be going home.

"And, finally," Chris said solemnly, "The last marshmallow goes to...

...

...

...

...Wally."

"Say what?" Courtney leapt to her feet screaming at her now former teammates, "How could you vote _me_ off? I'm a CIT, _remember_? You guys _need_ me!"

"Pfft," Duncan snorted, "In your dreams, Princess."

"But Wally cost us the game!" She reminded them angrily, "How could you vote me off instead of _him_?"

The punk shrugged unrepentantly, "The guy doesn't make my eardrums bleed."

"If it makes you feel any better," Chris offered cheerily, "You were only ousted by a single vote."

"Who voted me off!" She demanded, piercing gaze sweeping the remaining Killer Bass.

Duncan nodded unapologetically. Wally offered a weak grin as he revealed his own vote.

"Izzy disapproves of Courtney's attempts to control the uncontrollable," Izzy stated firmly, eyes closed and arms crossed solidly across her chest.

A moment later, Geoff also raised his hand.

"Sorry, Courtney," Geoff apologized genuinely, "But, well, Wally's my bro, y'know? I couldn't vote him off! Plus, those knife skills were _sweet_!"

"Uh, sorry Courtney," Wally offered weakly, "Didn't think I'd actually survive this one."

"Well you shouldn't have!" Courtney yelled at him, "_You're_ the one who cost us the challenge! And now you've also cost this team its only chance at ever winning another one!"

With that, Courtney turned away from the campfire and started to stomp angrily towards the Dock of Shame and the Boat of Losers that awaited her.

As she left, Chris joyously wiped a tear of mirth from the corner of his eye as he happily stated, "Man, the fans are just gonna love this!"

* * *

**_Confessional Can_**

"Okay, I don't even know how I managed that one," Wally admitted, rubbing the back of his head awkwardly, "Man, I've really got to get my game together for the next challenge. I don't think I can survive another elimination round like that."

* * *

Their next challenge: survive a night in the great outdoors. Easy, right? One problem... the great outdoors sucked.

There were bears in the woods. They had no shelter besides a ridiculously flimsy tent. And, worst of all, no food!

Granted, finding the Killer Bass campsite had been simple enough. For Wally, a guy who could could take a wrong turn on a morning jog and wind up in Albuquerque, navigation was a particularly vital skill that he was well versed in.

Hunting, however, was not something that any of the Killer Bass had any experience with, although Wally was starting to look at DJ's knew pet, creatively named 'Bunny', like it was a particularly juicy steak. So far he'd already had to be restrained twice as he came at the furry little creature with Duncan's pen knife.

"But I'm _starving_!" He whined pitifully, as Geoff foiled his third attempt by wrapping him in a bear hug and lifting him from the ground, "Can't Deej just go out and find another rabbit? Or, better yet, how about a deer? A big, juicy chunk of venison would be beautiful..."

"And then what, dude?" Geoff asked, "None of us would know what to do with the thing once we had it."

"Eat it!" Izzy exclaimed, pouncing on an innocent twig as she pretended it was a rather unfortunate woodland creature, lifting it between her teeth and shaking her head violently like a dog with a bone, "Raw! We can sink our teeth into their soft, furry pelts as they squirm and feel the blood drip down our faces!"

"..."

"..."

"..._that_ was hardcore," Duncan admitted, looking at Izzy admiringly, many of the others, particularly DJ, looking about ready to lose what little was in their stomaches, "Even for me."

"...I'll be good," Wally promised sickly, watching Izzy warily as Geoff let him down, "I've suddenly lost my appetite."

* * *

**_Confessional Can_**

"Dick, I'm back to wanting to kill you," Wally hissed coldly into the camera, "A night without _food_! A _night_ without **_food_**! I hope you're enjoying this!"

A few minutes of generalized ranting, during which he gave Artemis permission to maim, torture and otherwise do anything less than outright kill Dick, Wally eventually calmed down, sighing quietly.

"That hundred thousand dollars damn sure better be worth it."

* * *

Bridgette burned down their tent. In the middle of the night. Right as it started to _rain_!

Seven pairs of eyes narrowed on the surfer girl, momentarily wishing her a violent and bloody death as the rain began to chill them to the bone. The eighth was giggling like a maniac as she skipped and cartwheeled her way through the fast forming mud puddles.

"Heh, oops?"

Wally soon began to hate Bridgette that much more because, as the chill and the cold seeped further and further into the Bass's bones, Izzy made a startling discovery.

"Hey, guys," she cheered, arms already encircling her fellow red head's waist as she squeezed herself closer to the source of warmth, "Wally's hot!"

"Heh," Bridgette smirked from Izzy's left, huddling under the makeshift umbrella DJ had been holding aloft as Wally himself struggled to breathe with the other girl crushing his diaphragm, "Well, he's certainly attractive..."

"No, well yes, but I mean he's _really _hot!" Izzy told her doubters, "He's warm!"

Gwen, on Wally's other side, shrugged, putting a hand to the boy's shoulder, her face perking up instantly, "She's right! He's practically radiating heat!"

DJ, from behind, shuffled closer, announcing with concern, "Guys, I think he might have a fever!"

"Not a fever," Wally gasped, regaining his breathing after managing to pry Izzy's iron grip away from his diaphragm, "I just have... a high metabolism..."

"Who cares?" Gwen waved his explanation off and uncharacteristically doing her best to snuggle in closer, "You're warm!"

From the edges of the group, Tyler, Duncan and Geoff watched with hesitance as DJ, Izzy, Gwen and even Eva tried to get themselves as close to Wally and his warmth as possible. Eventually, however, seeing the contented looks on their teammates faces (along with Wally's particularly annoyed one) and feeling the cold seep deeper into their bodies, they exchanged a quick glance, silently agreeing to never speak about what they were about to do, and then they too brought themselves into what was now a growing dog pile with Wally at the center.

Too bad they forgot about the cameras.

* * *

When they returned to Wawanakwa the next morning, victory was assured. Even ignoring the fact that the Screaming Gophers turned up without Katie and Sadie, the Killer Bass beat them back to camp by a matter of minutes.

"Congratulations to the Killer Bass," Chris acknowledged, once the wayward twosome had finally caught up, "As your reward, you will be going on an all expense paid trip to... the tuckshop!"

In that moment, you could practically hear the Hallelujah being sung in Wally's mind, his eyes glazing over at the thought of those beautiful words 'all-you-can-eat'. It would be heaven...

But first.

"Outta my way!" He screamed, as the entire Killer Bass team started sprinting towards their reward, elbowing out Tyler and Eva to ensure he remained at the front of the pack.

"Those guys are just great TV," Chris mused, watching them go and smirking thoughtfully to himself as he pictured the epic showdown he could rig by setting Wally and Owen against each other, starving them for a few hours, and then dangle the startlingly effective words 'all-you-can-eat' in front of them.

He couldn't wait.

* * *

**_Confessional Can_**

"Artemis," Wally's eyes were closed and his arms were crossed over his chest as he addressed the camera solemnly, "For the record, I would like to point out that I did not instigate nor reciprocate any of the cuddling you may have witnessed for any romantic or sexual purposes. I did it purely because my teammates were cold and nothing but platonic emotions were present all round."

For about a moment, Wally was completely silent and still, before his eyes peeked opened worriedly and he started fretting.

"Please don't kill me!"

* * *

Days later, when the episode 'the Sucky Outdoors' aired, Robin cautiously peeked at Artemis's unusually calm form as Wally made his onscreen beg for mercy.

"Are you gonna kill him?" He asked casually.

"Nah," she shrugged, "He was just helping them keep warm."

"Oh," Robin grinned, leaning back in his seat on the couch as he gave a thumbs up to Zatanna sitting beside him, Conner and M'gann on the floor before the couch and Kaldur watching from an armchair off to the side, "That's good."

"I don't know why you're so happy," Artemis turned on him with a frown, "You're not off the chopping block yet. _Dick_."

For the one hundred and sixteenth time since the airing of the episode 'the Big Sleep', Robin cursed Bridgette's choice of insults and Wally's diabolical sense of humor. What made it worse was that he honestly wasn't sure whether or not Artemis had picked up on he speedster's message and had figured out his secret identity as Dick Grayson yet. He was fairly certain that this was intentional on Wally's part.

"I should run, shouldn't I?"

Levelling a steely glare with her cold, grey eyes, Artemis merely nodded.

With the speed the Boy Wonder fled the room you would've sworn that Wally had never left.


	4. Chapter 4

Wally wasn't entirely sure how it happened, but, the night of Sadie's elimination from the Screaming Gophers, the entire remaining cast of Total Drama Island wound up hanging out together at the campfire pit.

This was a fairly unusual happening by its lonesome, given that, due to the competition, the teams rarely mingled, even when they weren't competing in Chris's insane challenges. It was made even stranger, however, when the discussion managed to turn to a share-fest of everyone's worst nightmares.

"My worst fear?" Gwen contemplated the question when it finally reached her, "I guess... being buried alive."

"Oh, right there with ya," Wally agreed, failing to suppress a shiver, "I'm majorly claustrophobic. Being trapped underground... no room to move... I'd go _nuts_."

"Walking through a minefield," Lindsay stated matter-of-factly, before shuddering in fear, "Wearing _heels_."

It went on from there, with Owen and Izzy admitting to a shared fear of flying, Geoff fearing hail, Cody having a recurring nightmare where he was forced to defuse a time bomb under pressure... so on and so forth. It seemed that every contestant had a nightmare waiting for them in the shadows. It's a pity that they forgot the cameras, watching and recording them, giving their host everything he needed to make those nightmares a reality.

* * *

Wally spent much of the next morning in surprisingly good cheer. He laughed as Leshawna ran past him, screaming in terror as she fled from Chef, who was dressed in one of the sorriest spider costumes Wally had ever seen (and, in his line of work, he'd actually seen quite a few). He chuckled when Izzy and Owen were dragged aboard a (mostly) perfectly functional plane for takeoff. He guffawed when DJ ran away from the world's tiniest snake.

Then Chris dragged him down to the beach and reminded him what _he_ was afraid of.

"No way," he stated with finality, looking at the Plexiglas coffin with genuine fear in his eyes, "There is no way in hell that I'm getting in that thing and letting you bury me _alive_!"

Chris merely smiled serenely, "Does that mean you're gonna chicken out?"

"Ye-"

"May I remind you that the Killer Bass are currently down 3-1?" He smirked, interrupting Wally's attempts to back out, "And you're already on thin ice if it comes down to an elimination?"

"..." Wally wilted, looking at the freshly dug hole with terror, before Gwen hesitantly placed a hand comfortingly upon his shoulder.

"If it makes you feel any better," she offered nervously, "I'm going down there right after you."

"Actually," Chris corrected pointedly, "We're kinda on a schedule here, this is a 30 minute show after all, so we thought we'd just do your challenges together."

Gwen looked around confusedly, before raising a hand, "Uh, but there's only one box."

Chris grinned, "I know."

Wally's eyes darted from the coffin to Gwen to his own body, his mind making a few quick calculations as to volume. He started hyperventilating.

Gwen was frighteningly close to mimicking him.

"C'mon people," Chris rushed, "We've got a schedule to keep! Are you chickening out or not?"

"We'll do it!" Gwen answered for the both of them, as Wally squeaked.

The goth girl took the lead, dragging an unhelpful but unresisting Wally behind her as she took the final steps to the hole, directing the boy to get into the box.

Wally, taking some very shallow breaths and with great reluctance, lay down in the transparent tomb, his heart racing like a steam engine.

"Your turn, Gwen," Chris said cheekily, watching sadistically as the girl began to lower herself in, clearly intending to have her feet at Wally's head, "Uh-uh. Other way."

"Why?" Gwen demanded.

"We want you to be as cramped and uncomfortable as we can manage," he smiled impishly, "Makes the whole thing more interesting. Plus, I made a bet that you two'd make out. Can't do that if the only part of each other your lips can reach is the other's feet."

Both Gwen and Wally leveled some rather impressive death glares at their host as Gwen reluctantly maneuvered herself to lay down partially atop Wally's chest, both of them shifting a fair amount to try and get comfortable while Chris began to lower the lid.

"Now, we were going to give you a walkie talkie so you could communicate with the outside world," he explained through the small window on the roof, "But, since we've got two of you down there..."

With that, he slammed shut the small window and began using his shovel to pile the sand on top of them, soon blocking out the sky and the light as they were completely buried.

Trapped in the darkness, the only sounds heard being the beating of their own hearts and their harsh, shallow breaths, both teens wished frantically to have been absolutely anywhere else in the world.

* * *

Under normal circumstances, were Wally to be in his current position, that being cuddling with a hot goth, he would be experiencing certain... problems. Both physical reactions and the mental screaming that would quickly remind him of Artemis (specifically, the many unpleasant things that the archer would do to him when she found out).

However, seeing as he was currently buried three feet below ground and trapped in an incredibly cramped _coffin_... his mind was a little more preoccupied, racing a mile a minute with scenarios, each more horrifying then the next, of Chris forgetting to dig them out. One of these scenarios involved being discovered and enslaved by mole people below the ground.

And then he felt Gwen shudder in his grip, definitely suppressing a sob, and he managed to think about something else.

_'Don't think about the walls closing in on you,'_ he thought frantically, feeling Gwen shivering in his grip, clearly terrified even more than _he_ was, _'Don't think about the stale air or the fact that it's going to run out in half an hour if Chris doesn't dig us back up! Just think about _her_! She's a civilian. She's probably never been in this kind of situation before. She needs help and _you_ are _damn well _going to give_ _it to her!'_

"It's okay," he whispered, one arm pulling her tighter against his chest, "We'll be fine."

"How can you say that?" She hissed, "We're _buried alive_!"

"They're gonna dig us right back up in a few minutes," he reminded her, sounding infinitely more confident than he felt, "And then you and I can hunt down Chris, shove him down here and see how _he_ feels."

That got a small snort, Wally felt Gwen's hair brush up against his face as her head shifted slightly, "And then we can throw him into the lake with the sharks."

Wally grinned in triumph as he felt her shudders begin to subside, adding to the list that was distracting the both of them, "Screw that, we'll give him to my aunt. He'll be wishing for the sharks."

Gwen actually giggled, "Not a big Chris Mclean fan?"

"More like a serious case of Mama Bear Syndrome," Wally chuckled, "You shoulda seen what she did to my eighth grade P.E. teacher after he tried to fail me."

"Where were your parents?" She asked, still giggling, "Bitching out your Maths instructor?"

"No..." Wally said, switching from cheerful to bleak in less than a moment, pausing for half a second before explaining evasively, "My parents weren't around."

"Oh... I'm sorry," Gwen offered, not really knowing what she was apologizing for, but Wally refused to hear it.

"Don't be," he told her, suddenly turning cheerful again, "C'mon. What else do you want to do to Chris when we get out of here?"

Perhaps, if it were someone else, she might have pushed. But Gwen recognized Wally's tone. So, instead, she grinned to herself as her mind thought up ways to torture a certain TV host, soon coming up with the penultimate torment for him to suffer.

"We could steal his hair gel?"

Wally shifted as he suppressed a snort, bumping Gwen playfully, "Now _that's_ one to remember. Can you imagine? He'd go insane without his hair all styled and crap! _And_ he'd never leave his cabin until they flew out another shipment! We'd be free!"

For a few minutes more, the buried duo talked and laughed as best they could, using any topic they could think of to distract themselves from their growing apprehension until, finally, they heard the glorious sounds of digging above, almost immediately combined with the sharp pinpoints of beautiful sunlight streaming in through the gaps in the sand.

Within moments, Chris Mclean's handsome face was looking down at the two contestants. He did not look happy.

"Damn it," he cursed, almost whining as he opened the lid to the coffin, "You two didn't make out. Now I owe Chef a hundred bucks!"

"Sorry about that," Gwen commented with biting sarcasm, "Do you want to dump the sand back on us and give us a few more minutes?"

"I would very much love that," Chris told her with honest cheer, before his gaze hardened, "And I heard what you said down there, so don't tempt me."

With both the lid and Chris's threat open, both goth and geek almost leapt from the hole, to the cheering of several of their teammates.

"By the way," Chris added darkly as an afterthought, "If I find out any of you have touched my hair gel I can promise you that you'll live to regret it."

* * *

By the time of the last challenge, the score was 5-6 in favor of the Gophers, with only Leshawna and Justin failing to confront their biggest fears, a giant spider and mediocrity respectively. Of the Bass, Bridgette, DJ and Geoff were similarly unsuccessful, leaving the fate of the game in Tyler's hands.

If he lost, then the Gopher's won. But if Tyler managed to conquer his fear of chickens, then at least the Bass would have a chance in the tiebreaker.

Unfortunately for the Bass, and for Tyler specifically, the athlete was too chicken to face the chooks, costing his team the day's challenge and getting himself voted off that very night.

Perhaps, his former teammates would later admit, it was a tad unreasonable to blame the loss of the entire team on a single individual. DJ, Bridgette and Geoff had all failed in their challenges after all, so it wasn't like the blame rested entirely at Tyler's shoulders.

However... someone had to go, and, in all honesty, Tyler spent more time making out with Lindsay than he did focussing on whatever challenges they were facing.

Also, as Duncan unabashedly put it... 'better him than someone I actually like'.

* * *

"Hey man," Geoff greeted as he casually sidled up to his red headed teammate, looping an arm around the slightly shorter boy's shoulders, "Can I talk to you for a sec?"

Cocking an eyebrow at the party dude, Wally reluctantly agreed, allowing Geoff to steer him away from the cabins.

"What's up?" He soon asked, once Geoff stopped them just at the edge of the woods, releasing his bromantic grip and dropping his cheery exterior to reveal a considerably more nervous individual.

"It's Bridgette," Geoff bemoaned loudly, "I can't stop thinking about her, man, but she won't look twice at me! I need some advice, dude."

Wally blinked at the absurdity of the request, "And you thought that _I'd_ be the one to ask?"

"Well you managed to get Izzy all crazy for ya," Geoff pointed out, "And you seemed pretty cozy with Gwen back in that last challenge."

"Gwen and I were buried alive in a coffin that would barely fit one of us," Wally exclaimed, "And Izzy's crazy towards _everyone_!"

"Right," he scoffed, eyeing his friend critically, "Are you gonna help me out or not?"

"...look," Wally eventually sighed, rubbing the bridge of his nose carefully, "I've got a girlfriend back home, and one thing that Artemis has taught me is that I know absolutely nothing about girls."

"I'm sorry," he continued genuinely, "But I honestly don't know what to tell you besides the classic 'be yourself' bit."

"Well being myself hasn't gotten her attention," Geoff whined, "So I need to try _something_."

"What are you talking about?" Wally questioned honestly, "Dude, I've seen Bridgette looking at you the same way that you look at her. Trust me, being yourself is working out fine. Just... do whatever comes naturally. And try not to screw up."

"You're a real help, you know that?" Geoff sighed, "I should have asked DJ."

"C'mon, dude," Wally offered consolingly, "We'll work on getting you and Bridge together in the next challenge... just don't do anything huge without running it by me or DJ first."

* * *

The Boney Island challenge occurred the day after that conversation, a full three days after Tyler's elimination, and Wally, along with DJ, did their best to help Geoff out.

The unlikely matchmaking duo ran interference for the rest of the Killer Bass, DJ inviting Gwen to join him in his canoe and Wally snagging Izzy, shoving Duncan into Eva to ensure that Geoff and Bridgette went across the lake together and, when Geoff 'sprained' his ankle fleeing from the wooly beavers, DJ and Wally helped him to exaggerate it, even going so far as to carry him atop their canoe as they made their way to the far side of the island.

And, so far at least, it was working fine. The canoe trip had given the future lovebirds a chance to talk and get to know each other, whilst Geoff's accentuated 'injury' tapped into Bridgette's nurturing nature.

"Ten bucks says they're making out by the end of the week," Wally whispered sidelong to a grinning DJ.

Watching as the surfer chick did all she could to make Geoff's position as a temporary invalid more comfortable, DJ chuckled, confidently giving his answer.

"No contest."

"Do you two maybe wanna quit chatting and help us?" Duncan demanded, noticing their lack of motion.

The boys casually raised an eyebrow apiece at the punk, casting a glance from the Killer Bass fire, which was already lit and roaring courtesy of Duncan's handy dandy lighter, to the Screaming Gophers', who were struggling to get so much as a spark with sticks and stones.

"I think we're okay to take a quick break," Wally informed him, before his eyes were drawn to Izzy, carefully scanning her for any more tree sap based explosives that he might have to confiscate. "This contest's in the bag."

"I AGREE, WALLY," Chris screamed down at them from his helicopter, holding a megaphone to his lips as he hung out the side, "SCREAMING GOPHERS! YOU'RE TAKING _WAY _TOO LONG, SO THE KILLER BASS WIN THIS ROUND!"

There was a brief moment of silence from Chris, as the teams on the ground either groaned or cheered.

"NOW HURRY UP AND GET BACK TO CAMP," he reminded them, "FIRST TEAM BACK WINS INVINCIBILITY!"

And so began the mad scramble to the canoes, a scramble that was ultimately won by the Killer Bass.

* * *

That night, the Screaming Gophers said goodbye to Justin, which seemed an odd choice to Wally. After all, the guy was certainly fit and he hadn't exactly done anything that had worsened the Gopher's odds. It seemed that Katie, who still spent most of her time whining about missing Sadie, would have been a better choice.

So, Wally did what he often did when he was confused. He bugged people until he got an answer that satisfied him.

After questioning a few of the Gophers, he noted that only Cody had voted for the model, muttering something about 'competition'. Owen and Trent had seemed somewhat eager to rid themselves of Katie's wailing.

Leshawna hadn't been eager to speak with 'the enemy', but had reluctantly admitted that she'd voted for Heather.

The next person he went to, Lindsay, only told him that Heather had asked her and Katie to vote off Justin. Wally decided that he should probably take his question to the Queen Bee rather than try and draw any more answers out of the kindhearted, but _extremely_ absentminded, girl.

"Cody may be worthless in the physical challenges," Heather told him blatantly, once he'd caught up to the most outspoken Gopher outside the main lodge, "But when he pulls his head out of his ass and stops hitting on anything with breasts he's probably the smartest contestant we've got. And Owen may stink like a pig on a hot summer's day, but he and Trent can do any of the physical challenges Justin can, only they don't whine about it nearly as much."

"What about the girls?" Wally pressed curiously.

Heather shrugged, "Nothing really, I just didn't want to hand the boys the power to vote off whoever they wanted. Now, can I go and eat? Or do you have any more pointless questions?"

"Nah," he waved her off, content with the explanation he'd been given, "I'm good. Thanks, though. I owe you one."

"I'll remember that," she told him, "Assuming you survive long enough for me to need a favor."

Wally gave a brief pause as Heather turned to walk away. He wasn't sure he liked the sound of that.


	5. Chapter 5

"Alright campers," Chris announced to the gathered victims- err, that is, contestants. "Today's challenge is something of an outdoorsman classic."

Pausing briefly to pull out a pair of paintball guns, displaying them proudly, he cheered, "You're going hunting!"

"Well," he corrected with a manic giggle, "Half of you are. Bass Boys and Gopher Girls; please take a step back."

Confusedly, half of the assembled teens complied with Chris's odd request, leaving Gwen, Izzy, Eva and Bridgette of the Killer Bass and Cody, Trent and Owen of the Screaming Gophers.

Their host, noting their confusion with unrepressed glee, tossed each of them a paintball gun.

"Congratulations," he told them, pulling out a pile of caps from behind his back, each identical to the one he was currently sporting, "You are now the hunters for your teams. You get to carry the guns and wear these neat camo hats."

Raising a hand tentatively, Bridgette waited for Chris's attention to fall upon her before she nervously asked, "Um, what exactly will we be hunting?"

Chris grinned. "Everyone else."

"Bass Boys, Gopher Girls," he threw both groups a number of small bags, "Take a look at your accessories for this little hunt of ours."

Wally caught his small package casually, as did Duncan and DJ, Geoff fumbling with it due to the fact that he was a tad more focussed on Bridgette in her new camouflage cap.

Reaching in with caution- Wally had learned the hard way not to put it past Chris to set up some kind of booby trap- the speedster felt several objects, each soft and delicate to the touch, pulling one out to examine it.

In his hand was a modified belt. Modified so that a big and excessively fluffy cottontail was attached to the back.

"You have _got _to be kidding me!" He heard Heather exclaim.

Turning to see what her issue was, he found that the Queen Bee was holding a pair of fake antlers in her hand, whilst Lindsay and Katie were both holding the third part of their little ensemble.

Sighing heavily at the sight of the bright red noses, Wally, already having donned the remainder of his costume, turned to Chris and muttered in a perfect deadpan, "Someone told you that my middle name is Rudolph, didn't they?"

Chris stared at him with a shit eating grin, before stating robotically, "I do not know what you are talking about."

"Dude," Duncan seethed, holding the cottontail in one hand and the antlers in the other, "This seriously bites."

"Whatever," Chris dismissed, turning back to the rest of the players, "Rules are simple. Screaming Gophers are hunting the Bass Boys, whilst the Killer Bass are aiming for the Gopher Girls. Killer Bass hunters are represented by blue paint and the Gophers are orange. Whichever 'deers' come back in with the least paint on them will be declared the winners."

"Now," he stated with a clap of his hands, "The deer get a thirty minute head start... which started when I called you here about twenty five minutes ago. GO!"

"OWW!" Wally screamed, distracting his teammates from the starting signal as he hollered in pain, looking down at his arm to find the source of his discomfort.

"Hmm," Izzy muttered critically, holding the boy's left arm in both hands, a set of rather deep teethmarks plain to see, "Doesn't taste much like any deer _I've _ever eaten."

* * *

**_Confessional Can_**

"You know," Wally sighed, leaning heavily back on his seat as he eyed the camera, his body coated in a gooey mess of orange paint, "I really thought that I was gonna do pretty well in this challenge- I've got a lot of experience in avoiding people I'd rather not run into after all."

Slapping his head admonishingly, he muttered, "Knew I shouldn't have listened to Duncan."

* * *

The boys of the Bass team, once they'd torn Izzy away from her 'meal', had sprinted into the woods as one, desperate to make use of what little of their head start remained.

To throw off the Gopher hunters, both DJ and Wally independently came up with the idea to separate. Unfortunately, it seemed that Duncan had other plans.

"No!" He hissed, gripping Wally powerfully by the forearm as he tried to break off from the group, doing the same thing to DJ a second later, "I've got a place we can all hide out."

"Together?" Wally asked, still easily maintaining his speed as Duncan tried to drag himself and DJ along with him, Geoff following willingly.

"That'll make us real easy to track, dude," DJ reminded him.

"I know," Duncan dismissed, "S'not like those Gopher dorks are gonna find us though. I need to talk to you guys."

"About what?" Geoff tried to ask the determined punk, only to be shushed.

"When we get there," he ordered, leading the other three in a sharp turn and taking them closer to the island's cliffs, releasing his grips on Wally and DJ as he started to break ahead.

The remaining boys shared an uneasy glance, but ultimately followed before Duncan left their sights.

* * *

"So..." Wally stretched out the word, eyeing the cave Duncan had lead them to with boredom etched into his features, "Nice cave... what did you want to talk about again?"

Duncan smirked, as Geoff and DJ also turned to face him, "I've been thinking..."

"Never a good sign," Wally muttered, smirking when Duncan sent a glare his way.

"I've been thinking," he repeated, "About the situation over on the Screaming Gophers."

"What situation, bro?" Geoff asked.

"Heather and her little girl posse have made it so that they hold all the cards in their team," Duncan explained irritably, "And you _know_ that it's just a matter of time before the girls on _our_ side start thinking that way too."

"What?" Geoff was truly horrorstruck, "You think that the girls would...?"

"Vote us off, one by one," he nodded solemnly.

"..." Wally and DJ shared a tired look, before the dark-skinned teen asked, "You're kidding me, right?"

"You should really know me better by now," Duncan said easily.

"You're talking about the girls on _our_ team, right?" Wally checked, receiving a nod of confirmation, "Then we've got nothing to worry about. Eva's the next one out."

DJ blinked, confused, before eyeing Wally cautiously. He'd known that the girls would never unify against them, for the most part they were too nice (well, that, and Izzy hated conformity) but that other little tidbit was news to him.

"How do you know?" He asked curiously.

"The girls hate her," Wally explained plainly, before pursing his lips as he tried to recall the reason, "Apparently she snores? Or was it something about anger issues? I don't know, Izzy mentioned how she and Gwen and Bridgette have been trying to get rid of her since the last elimination, but I guess our votes for Tyler overruled them."

Duncan gaped like a fish for about ten seconds before he regained himself, beginning to grin wickedly, "Dudes, this is perfect! Once Eva's gone, we can just pick the rest of the girls off and, next thing you know, the four of us'll be on a one way trip to the finals!"

Geoff shifted nervously at that, as did DJ.

"I don't know, man," the goliath told him, awkwardly rubbing the back of his head, "I don't think I can do something so... underhanded."

"And I can't vote off Bridgette!" Geoff exclaimed, "She's my girl! Or... she will be..."

"Hey," Duncan raised his hands placatingly, "I'm not saying that we've gotta agree to this now. Hell, maybe we'll get lucky and just keep winning until the Gophers are gonzo. But we've gotta have some kind of strategy in case things don't go our way."

"...much as I hate to admit it," Wally pinched the bridge of his nose irritably, "Mohawk may have a point. I've come too far to let that prize slip through my fingers, and us guys sticking together'll definitely give us the best chances of making it to the finals."

"I don't know," DJ was still heavily on the fence, "I don't think Momma would-"

"Hey," Duncan reminded him, "People are gonna get voted off either way. This just guarantees us guys a little protection."

DJ still looked unconvinced, but Duncan knew that he'd go with the majority.

"What about you, Geoff, my man?"

Wally eyed the party animal carefully, noting an uncharacteristically thoughtful expression on his face.

"I can't do it," he told them carefully, before adding, "I can't just vote off Bridgette, man."

Wally nodded his support, "Yeah. Truth be told, I'm not too keen on voting off the girls either. But, you know, sooner or later, someone is gonna have to go. That's just basic math. They'll understand."

"Alright, I tell you what," Duncan decided slowly, "Maybe we're doing this a little early. Let's just wait until after we've actually lost a challenge. And then, once Eva's gone, we'll decide what to do."

"Alright," DJ seemed a lot happier now that they had planned to procrastinate in forging their alliance, "So we're agreed. We wait until after we actually lose a challenge before we decide who's going home. Like we're supposed to."

"So long as we agree that I'm not getting voted off, I'm cool," Duncan shrugged.

"What he said," Wally jerked a thumb at the punk, before starting to move over to the cave entrance, "Now can we get outta here? I'm pretty sure the four of us stumbling through the woods left a trail that even Lindsay could follow."

The speedster's blood ran cold when he stepped out into the sunlight, right into the crosshairs of three Screaming Gophers, each one armed with a brightly colored paintball gun.

Trent and Cody grinned cheekily, but it was Owen's maniacal laughter that really stopped Wally in his tracks, an impressive feat in and of itself.

"Say your prayers," the gargantuan boy whispered, as he and his teammates simultaneously cocked their guns.

"...crap."

With the use of his super-speed, Wally could have dodged. He could have taken a lazy jog around the whole island before the paintballs got anywhere near him... pity that that would expose his secret on national television.

At least his teammates managed to escape... by using him as shield against the Gophers' paintballs.

* * *

Wally walked back to the camp wearing a threadbare deer costume and a new coating of neon orange paint.

"Do me a favor, Dick," he bemoaned to the heavens... and to the numerous cameras watching his every movement. "Make sure that Artemis never gets a copy of this. Same with Uncle Barry, Aunt Iris, Grampa Jay, Uncle Hal, Roy... really, anyone that I know actually. Do that and, well, _maybe_ I'll find it in my heart to forgive you."

Idly, he wondered if Chris would air that request. Similarly, he wondered if Dick would follow through on it. Robin was capable of it, to be sure, and he certainly owed Wally more than even the heir to a billionaire's fortune was worth. But, well, Wally doubted that he'd be able to resist keeping a copy if it were Dick in this situation.

* * *

When the game ended, hours later, the deer were presented to Chris.

Wally was still sporting a coat of orange paint but, aside from Duncan having the splatter of a single paintball on his back, the rest of the team was clean.

Of the Gophers, however... it turned out that giving Izzy a paintball gun and a free reign may not have been a brilliant idea. All four of the Gopher girls were splattered head to toe with the remains of the entirety of the Killer Bass paintballs, something which Izzy was disappointed with. She'd run out of ammo, even after she'd stolen Gwen, Eva and Bridgette's guns, before she'd manage to shoot them enough to truly sate her bloodlust.

* * *

Wally watched from the Bass cabin's porch as Leshawna made the walk down the Dock of Shame and boarded the Boat of Losers, leaning heavily against the railing as he contemplated his situation.

The Killer Bass had two more men than the Gophers, which, granted, didn't really mean much to individual challenges, but was still comforting. But the Gophers themselves were starting to trouble him, mostly due to Duncan's earlier talk of alliances.

With Katie and Lindsay happily at her side and Owen ready to sell his vote for a slice of cake, there was no doubt as to who was in control of the Gophers. Heather had played them all spectacularly and she was now practically invincible.

Of the Killer Bass, however... Wally hated to admit it, but Duncan had a point. He knew that after their next loss Eva would be gone. Even if the girls hadn't been planning on it before, Eva's strength made her a great asset to the team... but also made her the greatest threat.

Plus, well, she was far from well liked. Aggression was all well and good when aimed at her opponents... but it really rubbed her teammates the wrong way.

That would then push the power of majority into the guys' favor, something which Wally found hard to even consider ignoring.

With the men of the Killer Bass voting in unity, they could guarantee themselves invulnerability... at least until the girls were gone.

Logically and strategically it was sound. Wally found it hard to disagree with the plan, but, well, DJ had a point when he said it sounded underhanded. And the more he thought about it, the more Wally couldn't help but agree. It _was _underhanded. Too underhanded. For the most part, the girls were Wally's friends just as much as the guys were.

Shaking his head, Wally steeled. He'd deal with this when the time came.

* * *

When Chris directed their attention to the delivery truck, many of the teens couldn't help but question how it was that the vehicle had managed to arrive on an island supposedly separated from the coast by several miles of ocean.

"We have it delivered so that Chef doesn't have to carry everything from the docks to the kitchen," Chris shrugged when asked.

"But," he continued cheerily, "Back to the matter at hand. For today's challenge, each team will be represented by a single contestant. The winner of this morning's activities will be rewarded by getting first dibs at all of the groceries that we usually save for myself and the rest of the production crew."

That got everyone's attention. Real food? After so long of Chef's slop even Wally was tired of its bland taste and slimy texture.

Individually, both teams came to a mutual conclusion. They were going to win. It didn't matter what the other team was thinking, because _they_ were going to win.

"We volunteer Trent to compete for the Gophers," Heather offered sharply, directing Chris's attention towards the musician who was, arguably, the best choice the Gopher's had for a physical challenge.

"And we're sending in Eva," Duncan demanded.

"Both fine choices," Chris smirked, "However, I've already chosen your contestants. Today's representatives will be... Wally and Owen! We all know that these two will do a lot for food, from selling votes for a slice of cake to threatening cute little bunnies with a penknife for a meal."

DJ's bunny, seemingly appearing out of thin air on his owner's shoulder after Chris's mention of his traumatic past, immediately shot Wally a vicious glare, baring teeth that were far too sharp for your garden variety bunny rabbit, reminding the flinching red head that DJ had decided to keep the thing as a pet.

Clapping his hands together enthusiastically, Chris got around to actually explaining the challenge.

"In pitting these bottomless pits against each other, we will see them fight it out in a no-holds barred battle royale!"

Wally and Owen shared a quick glance, before voicing their lack of violent impulses.

Chris smiled sweetly, "Need I remind you that the winner of the fight gets first dibs on the grocery truck?"

The boys shared another glance, this time promising pain upon the other, a pair of boxing gloves being tossed towards them as a familiar tune began to play in the background.

"...do you keep a stereo with the tune to 'the Good, the Bad and the Ugly' on you at all times?" Gwen asked curiously, fairly certain she already knew the answer.

"It adds drama," the host justified, somewhat petulantly, holding the aforementioned stereo above his head as Owen and Wally continued their glare, donning the gloves wordlessly. "Now let's get this show on the road! Chef, ring the bell!"

The colossal man who called himself a cook grinned sadistically, raising in one hand a tiny bell, with an even tinier hammer held in the other.

_Ding ding._

Everyone who was not a part of the fight immediately fled for cover as the two contestants, driven by their insatiable appetites and the promise of virtually unlimited food, threw themselves towards the other.

* * *

Wally landed the first blow, a powerful punch to the gut that had been known to bring grown men to their knees, it's power barely softened by the padding of his glove.

Owen winced in preparation for pain, only to laugh, both in victory and surprise when he noted that he had barely felt a thing, his opponent having managed to sink his entire arm up to the shoulder into the enormous folds of fat that made up his belly.

"And they said I should exercise," he crowed triumphantly, quickly wrapping Wally, now struggling desperately to free his arm, into a powerful bear hug, lifting his feet easily from the ground. "Hah!"

"Ah!" Wally moaned in pain as he felt his arm, still lodged in Owen's fat, was jerked painfully as he was lifted into the other boy's grip, only for it to be further twisted as Owen started to tighten his grip.

"I don't wanna have to hurt you," Owen said, honestly yet sternly, as he tried to meet Wally's eyes with the smaller boy's face scrunched up in pain, "Give up, buddy."

"Argh!" Wally screamed, as he struggled to free himself from Owen's grip, the other boy barely reacting until his entrapped arm moved _just_ so.

"Hey, cut it out!" Owen giggled unexpectedly, his body shaking spasmodically, "That tickles!

Wally, emboldened by his success, wiggled his arm wildly within the folds of Owen's belly, only furthering his giggling fit to the point where he reflexively let go of his smaller captive, letting him drop.

Wally, however, did not want to be dropped and bringing his left arm up to grab ahold of the back of Owen's neck, anchoring himself as his feet braced against his gargantuan belly, he kicked off powerfully.

Owen may only barely have felt it, but it accomplished what Wally had hoped, namely, giving him enough power to scramble over Owen's frame, slinging one arm around his neck and bracing his legs against Owen's back, putting the much larger boy in a powerful chokehold. To be perfectly honest, had a fate so serious as his lunch not been on the line, he probably would have added a noogie in there too.

Owen bucked like a bronco, doing his best to dislodge his unwanted passenger as he sputtered out a few objections.

"Give up, Dude," Wally insisted, furthering his point by digging his left foot a little deeper into Owen's back and pulling his arm against his throat with that much more strength, "This is gonna start really hurting in a minute or two!"

"Never!" Owen gasped, "I fight for my country! My team! I fight for my stomach!"

"I-" he struggled to continue, his strength weakening as he came to a dreaded realization, "Did I just run out of air?"

Owen stiffened as the final word left his mouth, his head flopping to his shoulder as he fell unconscious, his body falling to the ground a moment later, Wally only barely avoiding being crushed as he leapt from the boy's shoulders on the way down, landing to the cheers of his teammates and, to his surprise, the tears of his host.

"That was everything I'd hoped it would be," Chris murmured reverently, wiping a tear from the corner of his eye, "And more."

Regaining his composure, he added, mildly irritated, "Though it could've been a _lot_ bloodier."

Wally grinned victoriously, eyes turning to the truck full of groceries as he prepared to make a break for it.

"Duncan, DJ, stop him," Chris ordered, noting the look in the red head's eyes, pausing for a moment as the two boys both grabbed him by the shoulders.

"Sorry dude," Duncan told Wally casually, once the red head had stopped trying to free himself, "But we need _some_ of the all-you-can-eat buffet to be left for us after all."

"Who said anything about an all-you-can-eat buffet?"

Wally's head twisted around at lightning speeds, his eyes pinning his host with death in his glare.

"You did," he reminded him, deadly calm.

"Oh really? As _I _recall..." Chris grinned maliciously, "I stated that the victor of this challenge would get first dibs on the grocery truck. I never said _anything_ about you losers getting to eat whatever you picked."

"WHAT!?"

"Yeah," the host laughed, "But worry not Killer Bass, t'was not for naught. Due to Wally knocking the lovable oaf out on his ass, you get exactly what I promised. What I _didn't_ tell you, however, was what you'd be using those groceries for."

"Both teams will take whatever items they require from the truck," Chris explained, "You will take them to Chef's kitchen, where each team will create a three course meal, to be consumed and judged by _me_. Whoever makes the meal I like best gets to eat whatever's left while the losers send someone home."

There was silence amongst the contestants as they realized how badly two of them had been played.

"You're telling me," Wally said lowly, "That I just _choked a guy unconscious_! For an _advantage_?"

Chris smiled. "Yup. And it was beautiful."

"Now, chop chop," he clapped his hands happily, "You guys'd better get cooking. Taste testing kicks off in a couple of hours and I'm getting hungry!"

* * *

The Killer Bass did, as promised, get first dibs on the truck. Unfortunately, Wally was a tad too grouchy to enjoy it, justifiably pouting at the side while Chef Geoff took charge, deciding on an Italian themed meal that had a decent simplicity to deliciousness ratio.

"Just letting you know," Wally volunteered as he and the others began to ferry their ingredients back to the kitchens, "I can't cook anything more complicated than bacon."

"Uh, same here," Bridgette revealed. "Though not so much on the bacon."

"No worries," Geoff dismissed easily, "Bridge, you can boil the pasta, nothing easier, and Wally, maybe you can try and reign in Izzy, y'know? Maybe keep her from adding anything, uh, 'unexpected' to the recipes."

"Keep Izzy away from poisonous and/or explosive components," Wally summarized, not sounding particularly happy, "Y'know, after getting us the advantage, I feel that I should be given an easier job."

"Pfft," Duncan snorted, "Sorry dude, but you're the only one who can even recognize it when Crazy Girl goes for the explosives."

"Yeah," Izzy chirped happily, "Izzy finds it most impressive that Wally's knowledge of explosives matches her own, and finds it most disappointing that the educational system seems to have deprived the rest of you of such fundamental information."

* * *

For the most part, preparing the meal went as expected. Wally only had to stop Izzy from blowing anything up once, which he took as a minor victory, and she, in turn, provided a much needed distraction from the surrounding scent of cooking food.

"Nice work controlling your teammates," Heather commented smugly, noting Wally and Izzy's mutually beneficial restraint attempts, "When you've got a bulimic keeping the pyro in check to stop either of them going nutso, you really know that something's off with your leadership."

"Bulimic?" Wally repeated, affronted, as Duncan smirked, not stopping in his task of preparing meatballs as he noted that there was only one member missing from the Screaming Gophers.

"This coming from the girl who left _Owen_ alone with your food?"

Four pairs of eyes simultaneously widened in realization, their owners immediately darting back to their workstation before Owen demolished their meal, their final teammate reaching the same conclusion and following after a minute or so.

"Heh, idiots," Duncan snorted.

* * *

As it turned out, reminding the Gophers that they'd left their meal alone with a human garbage compactor was something of a mistake. They'd managed to get back in time to rescue enough food to make a meal and, you see, their meal was... good. Better than the Bass's at least, which cost them the challenge that they'd worked so hard to complete.

The team had dispersed after Chris's announcement, each seeking a brief period of solitude with which to mourn their lost meal, before convening at the campfire to complete the final portion of the day's challenge.

At the very least, Wally mused, it was easy to vote Eva off. Her strength and rage made her a potent threat to anyone and everyone she chose, and her unsociable personality ensured that nobody really got to know her well enough to like her. Add that to the fact that the girls were desperate to be rid of her and the guys were only too happy to oblige them and, well, she never had a chance.

And then, once Chef had been brought in to drag Eva kicking and screaming off the island, the remaining Bass slowly made their way to the main lodge, where they would be stuck with Chef's usual fair.

It was on their way when Wally, separated from the rest of his team by his dragging feet and weighted thoughts, literally bumped into someone he'd've much rather avoided.

"Ooh, sorry there buddy," Owen apologized profusely, seeing that Wally had bounced off and fallen to his rear, "I didn't see you there. Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," he grumbled, pushing himself back to his feet, "My fault. Wasn't paying attention to where I was going."

"Yeah," Owen laughed, "I get that way too sometimes, mostly when I'm thinking about cheese..."

Humming his agreement, Wally looked carefully up into the larger boy's face, searching for any trace of animosity in his expression, but finding nothing more than casual cheer. Confused, Wally merely shrugged it off and chose to speak.

"Anyway," he said, "I wanted to apologize about earlier."

"What? You mean the challenge?" Owen snorted giddily, waving off Wally's concerned dismissively, "No worries."

"Dude," Wally insisted, "I _choked_ you until you passed out."

"Well, yeah," he shrugged, "But, you know, in the pursuit of food! I was trying to do the same to you."

"Well... if you're sure," Wally accepted cautiously.

"Trust me," Owen assured him, "I've got two brothers back home. What you did earlier was _nothing_ compared to some of the stuff we've gotten up to. I mean, there was this one time..."

Owen cut himself off suddenly, remembering perhaps for the first time that everything he was saying was being recorded for a national audience when he looked directly into a nearby camera and thinking that, perhaps it would be better if his mother didn't here _that_ particular tale of brotherly bonding.

"Uh, anyway, come on," he continued, waving in the direction of the main lodge, "Chef's almost done with dinner."

"...didn't you guys already eat, you know, actual food?" Wally asked, hesitantly following as Owen began to lead the way.

"Well, yeah," Owen agreed obliviously, "But I'm still hungry you know."

* * *

**_Confessional Can_**

"Alright," Wally confessed to the camera, "So, I'm really starting to scare myself here. I mean, I choked the life out of a guy just because I thought it would get me a meal... and I don't even mind Chef's food that much! Okay, sure, it's a little bland, and maybe it could use some actual consistency, but there's always plenty of it and it's not like I hate it!"

Sighing heavily as he pinched the bridge of his nose, Wally continued lowly, "This game is really starting to get to me."


	6. Chapter 6

The cast's next challenge went about as well for the Bass as the previous one.

Duncan and DJ proved incapable of beating Heather and Cody up the cliffside, costing them the first point.

Geoff's trust in Bridgette's cooking, combined with her ability to pull through, allowed them to tie the score when Trent and Katie failed.

Owen and Lindsay managed to emerge victorious in the first third of the third challenge, leaving Wally bruised and Gwen apologetic.

Wally's experience with the trapeze, courtesy of Robin's past in the circus and express need to share it with all who knew his secret identity, and Bridgette's faith allowed the duo to laugh, joyous and unharmed, when Heather fell into the pond of jellyfish.

Unfortunately for the Bass, however, giving Izzy the navigator's position on the toboggan race cost them the winning point. She abjectly refused to direct Duncan properly, causing them to crash multiple times on the way down, much to the red head's enjoyment.

This lead Duncan to come a swift decision as to who the guy's alliance should be voting off.

This also lead Wally to his current choice of action.

* * *

After losing the day's challenge, Izzy, after a rather spectacular toboggan crash, required a new set of her 'Total Drama Island Approved' clothes, having miraculously avoiding serious harm in the process.

Gwen and Bridgette, hoping to delay the inevitable Bonfire Ceremony, elected to join her as she made her way back to the cabin, Gwen offering the halfhearted explanation that she needed to touch up her makeup to politely excuse themselves.

It was as Izzy was casually undressing herself in the relative privacy of the cabin that there was a knock on the door. Upon hearing this, Izzy unthinkingly walked over and opened said door before either Gwen or Bridgette could stop her.

"Hey, girls, can I talk to you for- whoa!"

Wally's head, which had initially been focussed behind him to see if anyone was baring witness to his current acts, turned around mid-sentence, his eyes being automatically drawn to Izzy's unbound breasts as they came into view and effectively rendering him speechless.

A nanosecond later, faster than even Wally could follow, Bridgette had grabbed Izzy by the shoulders and thrown her away from the door as Gwen slammed the wooden barrier in Wally's astounded face.

"Izzy!" Bridgette hissed, scandalized, "You can't open the door when you're _naked!_"

"Are you _trying_ to give everyone on this island a free show?" Gwen asked, hurriedly throwing the nude girl's clothes towards her, just as the sounds of frantic apologies began filtering in through the door. "Get dressed!"

A few moments later, once Izzy was suitably dressed, Bridgette reluctantly made her way over to the cabin's door, opening it once Gwen nodded her approval.

"-so, so, so sorry," Wally spluttered, a hand covering his eyes and his cheeks stained so red that his freckles had disappeared, "I _swear_ I didn't mean to see-"

"Wally," Bridgette cut him off sternly, arms crossed tiredly, "It's not _your_ fault Izzy answered the door in the buff."

Carefully spreading his fingers, allowing one eye to peek through, Wally cautiously checked the room to be sure that everyone was now clothed, as well as searching for any signs of rage being directed towards him.

"Sorry," he offered again, just to be safe.

"No big," Izzy shrugged, seemingly unconcerned, as Gwen stepped forwards.

"Did you actually have a reason for coming here?"

That reinvigorated Wally's scattered thoughts, causing him to straighten as he immediately rechecked the area outside of the cabin for eavesdroppers.

"Can I come in?" He asked, stepping over the threshold before an answer was given, closing the door behind him as his paranoia demanded.

Turning back to face his female teammates, Wally sighed deeply, "I need your help."

"With what?" Gwen asked, eyebrow cocked cautiously.

"I need your votes tonight," he told them, "Or you three are all kinda screwed."

Eying Wally with scrutiny, Izzy said stiffly, "_Excuse_ me?"

Noting that Gwen and Bridgette looked similarly annoyed, Wally immediately elaborated.

"What I mean is," he stressed, "That Duncan's formed a guy's alliance. DJ and Geoff are hesitant, but they're gonna cave and, face it, the three of you don't stand a chance if the four of us start voting together."

"And here I thought you were the nice one," Gwen said irritably, "Why tell us?"

"Look, Duncan plans to eliminate Izzy tonight, followed by you, Gwen. Then, once he doesn't need Geoff's vote, he'll probably go for Bridgette."

"Still doesn't explain why you'd tell us," Gwen pointed out.

"And what does Geoff have to do with me?" Bridgette asked, honestly perplexed.

Wally glanced sidelong at Gwen, silently asking 'seriously?', before continuing as though he hadn't heard her.

"Frankly, this whole 'alliance' thing doesn't sit well with me," he explained, "Plus, if it works, I'm stuck facing Duncan later in the game. So I wanted to give you guys a chance to save your respective bacons."

"How?" Izzy asked, breaking the silence she had maintained throughout the conversation.

"Vote off Duncan tonight," he told them, "We get rid of him, the alliance folds, and we can get back to playing this game like it's supposed to be played."

Izzy nodded calmly in acceptance, with Gwen and Bridgette hesitantly sharing a glance behind her.

"And what if this is some sort of trick?" Gwen asked eventually.

"Come on," Wally sighed, "Bridge, you trusted me to catch you on the trapeze, right? And Gwen, you trusted me when we were buried alive, didn't you?"

Both girls still seemed hesitant when the group heard Chris and his megaphone announce that it was time to vote.

"Just... trust me now," Wally told them softly as he turned to leave, "Otherwise, well... I'd hate to see Duncan get the better of you guys."

* * *

Once the voting was complete and the Killer Bass had assembled for the Campfire Ceremony, Chris began to deal out the marshmallows with practiced ease.

"Geoff. DJ. Bridgette. Gwen. Wally."

For a moment, Chris paused, allowing the audience to soak up what he considered to be dramatic suspense... despite the fact that neither of his remaining contestants were giving him much of a show, both slouching calmly in the seats, completely at ease with such certainty that the other would be kicked off.

Unfortunately for Duncan, only Izzy's confidence was justified.

"Izzy."

The punk's eyes snapped open, horrified by what he had just heard. That horror however, upon seeing Izzy cheerfully chow down on her marshmallow of effective invincibility, turned quickly to anger as his mind performed some simple arithmetic.

Wheeling around to face the remaining three males of the Bass, he growled, "Which one of you backstabbers sold me out?"

Geoff and DJ flinched away from the angered teen. Wally, however, smirked, giving a small wave.

"Nice knowing ya, Duncan," he bade the other boy farewell, "Should've listened to Geoff. Alliances are _bad_ ideas."

"I am gonna pound you into mince mea-mmph!" Duncan's tirade was cut short by large burlap sack being thrown over him by the camp's titanic cook, who carefully hoisted the squirming thing over his shoulders, carrying it down to the Dock of Shame even as it swore obscenities and retribution towards a certain red head.

"You know," Wally said, once his threats began to fade in the distance, "I think I'm gonna miss him."

Izzy spared him a pointed look.

"Well," he amended, "Not really. The guy snored like a chainsaw!"

* * *

The loud rapping at the door slowly brought Wally reluctantly to the waking world. This, after weeks of Chris rudely waking him with sirens, megaphones and anything else he could think of, was actually rather pleasant. That didn't mean he was getting up though.

"Ugh," he grunted, rolling over and digging his face into the wonderfully soft pillow, luxuriating in the silk sheets supplied by the island resort he was currently enjoying.

Over the course of the past week, Chris had instigated three more days of fun filled and barely legal challenges, leading to the elimination of two of the remaining campers and Wally's currently enjoyable situation.

The first was Gwen, the sole pessimist of the Killer Bass, whose general irritation at anything approaching a good mood simply got to enough of her teammates to have her voted off.

The second was Trent, for the simple reason that, of the remaining Gophers not already under Heather's thumb, Cody and Owen were far simpler to manipulate.

The third challenge had begun with Chris abolishing the teams, reassigning the cabins for a 'Boys vs. Girls: Brunch of Disgustingness!'.

As the name implied, this was an eating challenge.

An eating challenge... with Wally and Owen placed firmly on the same side.

An eating challenge with Wally and Owen firmly on the same side and highly motivated to win the two-day stay at a 5-star island resort (with its own all-you-can-eat buffet).

As I'm sure you can imagine... there was no contest. Like, at all.

The forever ravenous duo with the indiscriminate appetites and iron stomachs to match licked each and every dish that came their way clean and forced the so called 'food' down the gullets of their more reluctant teammates. DJ may have thrown up once or twice and a few tears may have been shed... but it still counted. Technically.

As Chris had ponied up and sent the boys to the resort, Wally was now finding himself growing irritated that his promised first morning of luxury was being rudely interrupted.

Groaning as he burrowed himself further into his sheets, hoping vainly that the irritant would give up and leave, the knocking persisted, swiftly continuing until Wally's annoyance outweighed his natural laziness.

Throwing off his covers, Wally idly scratched his bare chest as he rose to his feet. Stumbling sleepily, he made his way to the door.

"I'm coming, I'm coming," he muttered accursedly, his hand reaching the doorknob, wishing that the intruder would just give it up already.

A sharp flick of his wrist and Wally jerked the door open, his superhuman reflexes barely allowing him to catch a brief glimpse of golden colored hair before he found a pair of shockingly familiar lips attaching themselves to his own.

His body reacted automatically, with his arms encircling the body before him and his hands searching through familiar curves, rushing from her (for she was most definitely female) hips, up her sides, and soon finding themselves latched to her face, oh so very reluctantly pushing her away from him so that his eyes could confirm what he already knew.

"Artemis," he breathed, taking in the sight of her tanned skin and stormy grey eyes, framed by golden bangs with a smirk gracing her features.

"Hey Wally," she grinned softly, "So... can I come in?"

"Artemis," Wally said softly, shock overriding much of his higher brain functions, "What are you doing here?"

She grinned at him again, before brushing past him and into the room.

"You remember how I go to Gotham Academy? The go-to prep school for snooty rich kids? Believe it or not, but I _did_ actually manage to make a few friends and... well, it turns out that I know people now."

"People like...?" He asked, closing the door behind him as he turned back inside.

"People who know people," Artemis grinned, "Turns out that one of the girls in my homeroom has a cousin who works for 'Total Drama Island'. He's been feeding her updates since the season began and, well, when she found out that I was _the_ Artemis who was dating _that_ Wally she started passing them on to me."

"So," she continued, "When she found out that you and the boys had won yourselves a trip to an island resort, well... did you know that Bruce Wayne recently purchased this particular chain of hotels?"

Wally grinned triumphantly, "I guess you must've figured out my message."

Artemis scowled, "It took me a week to realize that Dick Grayson was flinching any time anyone said his name... just like Robin. I felt like such an idiot! All that time and I never figured it out!"

"Don't feel bad, babe," he shrugged, "The only reason I ever found out was because he, y'know, told me."

"Yeah, but you never went to school with him. He is _such_ a troll!"

"Whatever," Wally dismissed, crossing the distance between them and embracing her, brushing her hair softly,, "Babe, you're here."

She chuckled into his chest at his affection, "I missed you too."

Breaking their embrace, Wally asked, "How's everyone else been?"

"They're fine, for the most part," she told him, "We're all rooting for you."

Wally smiled, "Well, duh."

"What can I say?" She shrugged, "Team loyalty's a thing with us. They say 'hi', by the way."

"So, uh," Wally eyed Artemis's pure white outfit, which matched perfectly the uniforms worn by the hotel's attendants, "What's with the getup?"

"Well," she smiled, "I couldn't show up here as a guest, 'Total Drama' booked this whole resort solid for you guys. So... Dick hooked me up with a job as a masseuse."

Wally smirked, shifting his shoulders with an exaggerated wince, "Really? Because, y'know, after all those physical challenges back on the island, I am just so _tense_."

Artemis's smile morphed into a perfect mirror of Wally's smirk. Slinking over to the bed, she patted down on the covers pointedly.

"Well, we'll have to fix that won't we?"

* * *

"Well, somebody certainly looks happy," Cody commented slyly at dinner, watching as Wally cheerily piled food onto his plate with a serene smile on his lips, "That must've been one hell of a massage."

"Cody, my man," Wally stated loftily as he sat amongst his friends and teammates, "You have _no_ idea."

"Must've been awesome!" Giggled Owen, before rubbing his neck awkwardly, "Where can I sign up for a massage like that? 'Cause I've got this crick in my neck that you wouldn't believe."

"Hmm? Oh," Wally shrugged, honestly not really sure given that Artemis had shown up on his doorstep without prompting, "Y'know. Just ask the front desk for a massage. They'll take care of it, I guess."

"Take care of what?" Geoff asked, as he too sat amongst the boys, his own plate laden high with foodstuffs.

"Massages," DJ informed his open-shirted friend, "The spa treatments here are just _phenomenal_. Just look at what they did to my alligator elbows!"

"That's nothing," Geoff scoffed, "You should see what they did to my nails!"

"You got your nails done?" Cody asked uncertainly.

"Yup," Geoff told him proudly, "The manicurist told me that the chicks really dig a guy who can get into all that spa stuff."

"Hmm," Cody mused, "Maybe I should check this thing out."

"Ooh, me too!" Owen excitedly agreed, "Maybe we could all do it together? Huh, Cody? DJ? Geoff? Wally?"

"Count me in, dude," Geoff told him, as DJ nodded his affirmation. "The manicurist told me that I should probably get my chest waxed while I'm here too, just to really make sure I look my best to hook Bridgette in."

"What the hell," Cody shrugged, "Not like any of this is being recorded."

"Thank God for that," Wally agreed.

"What about you, Wally?" Owen asked, still exuding cheer, "Guys' day at the spa?"

Wally smiled hesitantly as he nodded, "Sure, but I'm having another massage tomorrow afternoon. I wanna be completely and totally at peace before we get sent back to the Island and Chris starts trying to kill us again."

Raising their glasses as one, the boys gave out a hearty "Hear, hear!" in honour of their freedom (however temporary) from the devil McLean.


	7. Chapter 7

Stealth had never come naturally to Wally, as a civilian or as a hero. As a child he'd been loud and obnoxious, demanding attention from all he could see. As a hero, he'd been just as attention seeking, wearing a uniform brightly colored in yellow and red.

For the most part, this had never been much of a problem for him. He didn't _need_ stealth. He was so fast that people hardly ever saw him coming anyway, and by the time anyone actually did it was usually too late for them to do anything about it.

When the Team had been formed, however, expressly designed for undertaking stealth missions, Wally had had difficulty transitioning. For his teammates, it was simple. Aqualad was well trained, below water and above, and, for Robin, stealth was an art form. Superboy may have had little experience and a tendency to rampage (and _loudly_ at that) but the G-nomes had filled his head with lessons and tactics that he could put to use and Miss Martian could camouflage herself at will and levitate silently.

In comparison, Kid Flash had been an elephant lumbering through a field of dead leaves and dried twigs.

This had been noticed very quickly and Wally was soon given to Batman for a week of intensive training on how to move _quietly_. The same one, in fact, that Dick had consented to in his initial training to take up the mantle of 'Robin'.

Dick had never spoken of what happened to him in that week and, to this day, neither had Wally, but, by the end of it, Kid Flash could run through any territory as silently as the wind itself when he chose.

And now, on the Island in Chris's latest challenge 'Hide and be Sneaky', Wally had never been more thankful for that little trick.

When Chris gave the signal to hide, Wally was leading the pack in the mad dash to escape the dock that would be Chef's home base, already planning out the best place for him to hide.

"Where are we going?" A familiar voice giggled behind him as he moved.

"Woods," Wally replied automatically, never slowing, "The trees'll give us the best cover and they'll mess with Chef's line of sight enough that he won't be able to shoot properly."

"Hah," Izzy cartwheeled unexpectedly, somehow keeping pace, "Wheeee! This is fun!"

Out of the corner of his eye, Wally watched her carefully, a part of him wishing that Artemis were with him instead. Izzy's skills ranged far and unexpectedly wide, but he somehow doubted that stealth was included. Still, he also sincerely doubted his ability to shake her, and merely allowed her to follow him into the trees.

* * *

He knew he shouldn't have let her follow him.

Wally had found the perfect hiding place quickly enough. Up in a tree, not too deep into the woods, with an unobstructed view of the camp, he could watch Chef's movements and stay safely hidden by the foliage. They were even thankfully out of earshot of the gargantuan cook, so he couldn't even hear Izzy's intermittent giggling fits.

But then Chef had started flushing out a few of the campers hiding in the farther edges of the campsite, moving out of Wally's sight as he neared the woods and was blocked by the lower trees.

A part of Wally knew that he shouldn't move if he didn't know where Chef was, but another part of him also knew that Izzy would reveal their location if they didn't skedaddle and find a new hiding place, maybe even make a dash for the docks and the invulnerability they represented.

Shifting slightly as he turned to Izzy, intent on telling her of the change in plans. His blood chilled to subzero temperatures when he realized that his fellow redhead was missing.

Looking around wildly, he saw that her crouching down at the base of the tree and, after taking another moment to check the surrounding area, he caught sight of Chef moving closer towards them.

And then, when he didn't think his heart could beat any faster, he saw Chef walk right past Izzy and the tree in which he was hidden, Izzy hiding behind the trunk as he moved past, only for Izzy, instead of taking advantage of her good fortune, to leave the safety of the trunk and start mimicking Chef's every movement.

Wally watched, dumbstruck, as Izzy's posture shifted to match Chef's, her face frowning in what should have been an hilarious impression of his if not for the situation and her hands grasping the air to mimic Chef's hold on his supped up super-soaker.

Loosening his iron grip on the trunk of the tree, Wally straightened, now standing on the comfortable branch he had been perched upon before he quickly began to move along it, striding as confidently along the foot-wide branch as he would on a concrete footpath, until he was within jumping distance of the next tree.

And so, as Chef stalked the grounds for the campers, he was unaware that he had picked up a tail in the form of Izzy, who was equally unaware (or possibly just uncaring) that she had her own tail following from the trees as Wally frantically tried to catch her attention without attracting Chef.

This, as you can imagine, did not last long. Chef was a military man through and through, and his well trained senses soon began to pick up on the two presences following his every step. Every time he turned around, however, he was confronted by nothing but trees, so he began to shift his course back in the direction of the camp, and to the more open areas it contained.

A toothy grin formed on his face. This was going to be fun.

* * *

From his position in the trees, Wally was the first to notice that they were being led to open land, when the distance between each tree began to grow.

_'Crap,'_ he thought, when he realized that the distance between his current perch and the next tree along was already too great for him to jump. Maybe not for an acrobat of Robin's caliber, but certainly for him.

Looking carefully downwards as he forced himself to a halt, crouching carefully to maintain his balance some two stories in the air, Wally saw that Izzy was already running out of places to hide if Chef chose to turn back, and, in an instant, he realized that Izzy did not care.

The manic grin he could see gracing her lips told him everything. She was looking forward to the moment that Chef caught her. She wanted a confrontation.

Wally gripped the branch beneath him loosely in his hands, hopping backwards, allowing himself to fall, only to swing forwards as his arms pulled taut. Releasing the branch at the pinnacle of the arc, he fell forwards and downwards by a meter or so, his feet quickly coming into contact with another branch.

His forward momentum was too great to halt, so he didn't bother trying. Leaning forward with his momentum, he ran lightly across the branch before kicking off as powerfully as he dared, falling the remaining distance to earth.

Landing feet first, he rolled with the impact to disperse the force, bouncing back up as Chef began to turn towards the unmistakeable sound of his landing and the pained grunt that had accompanied it. Not wasting any time, Wally took advantage of Izzy's momentary shock to hoist her over his shoulder.

"Hey!" She protested as Wally's right shoulder dug into her belly, even as he ignored her and started running directly towards Chef, who was bringing his super-soaker to bear.

Not dissuaded in the least, Wally ran ever closer before he had a chance to fire, leaping skywards towards the terrifying black man who blinked in stunned surprise as a sneakered foot was suddenly brought upwards.

"Gah!" He exclaimed, as the sole crashed into his face, pushing him backwards and propelling the foot's owner upwards and over his gargantuan frame, even as he was slammed into the dirt.

"Hah!" Izzy cried out in joy as Wally landed, not pausing for a moment as he continued to run towards the docks. Pointing an accusing finger, she cried, "Take _that_ Cheffy!"

"And next time!" She continued, settling on Wally's shoulder now that _someone_ had taken Chef down a peg, "It'll be you and me! You got that you no good excuse for a cook?!"

"Shut!" Wally puffed as he ran, unused to performing such acrobatics with the weight of another person, "Up! Izzy!"

"Why?" Izzy asked quizzically, her elbow digging obliviously into Wally's back as he ran so that her hand could support her head as she looked back at Chef, who, it seemed, was not quite down and out just yet, "Oh."

"What?" Wally asked, as they passed the camper's cabins.

"Warning! Warning!" She hollered, "Red alert! Angry Chef preparing to fire at 6'o'clock! Take evasive actions!"

"On it!" Wally suddenly veered wildly to the left, putting the cabins between himself and the irate Chef, just in time for a powerful jet of water to blast by on the right.

For a moment, the only noise was the sound of Wally's huffing as he ran, before a second blast of water shot past. This time just inches to the _left_.

"Whoa!" Wally veered to the right, as Izzy squealed in awe, "That one came _through_ the cabins!"

"What?!" Wally exclaimed fearfully, pouring on a touch more speed in what was now becoming a desperate race to the docks.

"That super-soaker shall be mine!" Izzy proclaimed, renewing her attempts to free herself from Wally's grip.

"Fine," Wally told her, veering around the dining hall, the docks returning to his field of vision and looking so tantalizingly close, "Get it _after_ the game!"

"On your left!" Izzy alerted suddenly, prompting Wally to swing right in time for another of Chef's blasts to fly by, this one tearing a hole through the dining hall without any signs of slowing down.

"On your right!" Wally ducked to the left, movement in the corner of his eye alerting him to the fact that Cody and Bridgette had both chosen to take advantage of Chef's focus on himself and Izzy to make their own dashes towards the docks.

"Your left again!" Izzy sounded positively gleeful as Wally shifted to the right, his feet finally making contact with the wooden surface of the docks.

Putting on a final burst of strength, Wally hitched Izzy in his grip, pouring on the speed to make the hairpin turn at the end of the dock in order to reach the lifeguard's post that was 'home base'.

"Freedom!" Wally cheered as he laid a hand on the base, securing his invincibility for the day's elimination. As he moved to return Izzy's feet to the ground, however, Chef unleashed a final blast of concentrated water at them, blasting the pair clear off the edge of the dock, into the (naturally) shark-infested water below and officially taking Izzy out of the game.

Floating near the sandy floor of the lake, arms crossed disbelievingly and dangerous expressions on their faces, the sharks steered clear of the teens for their own safety.

* * *

In the end, the only other contestants to reach the base had been Cody, who called upon years of experience in avoiding bullies after Izzy had been hit and he and Bridgette had been targeted, and Leshawna. Bridgette had come close, but her clumsiness had gotten the better of her and she hadn't been able to avoid the water sent her way.

By that point, Owen had already been caught, along with Geoff, who had been taken out mere minutes into the game.

Of the final two contestants, Heather was the next to be caught, but had then sold out DJ in order to earn herself invincibility in the coming vote. The act of which had given the other campers a sudden desire to vote Heather off.

So, as the host began to dole out the marshmallows, Cody, Heather, Leshawna and Wally were the first to receive the gooey treats.

"Next up, we have Bridgette," Chris stated calmly, tossing the surfer girl a symbol of immunity.

Chris paused at that, taking note of the nervous faces before him in the forms of Geoff, DJ and Owen.

"Now," he held up the two remaining marshmallows, "Which of you three will stay? Who will go? Let's find out together, shall we?"

Frowning slightly as he looked checked the results of the vote a final time, he sighed. "Geoff, DJ. You guys are safe."

"Owen," he continued, sounding almost genuinely sad as he singled out the rotund contestant, "I'm afraid we're going to have to see you and your endless supply of toilet humor go."

With a hitch in his breath and an honest to God tear in his eye at the thought of all the wonderful material his writers had come up with that he would no longer be able to use without Owen there to act as the perfect target, Chris continued, coming _extremely_ close to outright sobbing, as he said, "I'm afraid that you'll have to walk the Dock of Shame and board the Boat of Losers."

Owen, for his part, was taking his loss with far more grace than Chris, actually moving in to comfort the sadistic host, "It's okay, Chris. I'll be fine."

"No!" Chris bawled, "It's not fine! I had so many jokes lined up for you! Jokes that the world will never get to hear me deliver! Who's gonna be the butt of the joke now? No one else's is big enough, man!"

The remaining contestants, as well as Owen, glanced around awkwardly, before Owen gave Chris an awkward pat on the back, waved goodbye to those still seated around the campfire, and walked off to the Dock of Shame with an unprecedented amount of dignity left in tact.

And his friends, though honestly sad to see him go, couldn't help but breathe a sigh of relief. Owen was perhaps the nicest guy in all of Canada... but his farts could honestly be classed as a biohazard.

* * *

Later that evening, an uncharacteristic silence settled in the boy's cabin as the four remaining inhabitants each raised a can of soda, handed out solemnly by Wally. Where exactly he had come by such treats was something that they had long since stopped questioning, merely accepting that there was little Wally could not do in the quest for sugar and caffeine, up to and including stealing from Chef's private kitchen.

"To the totally raddest dude I've had the honor of partying with," Geoff began, the slightest hitch in his breath as he raised his can high.

"To the nicest guy I've ever known," DJ continued, equally somber, bringing his own to meet Geoff's.

"To the greatest teammate a guy could ask for," Cody added.

"To Owen," Wally finished, as the foursome brought their cans together, "May he know peace, wherever he may be, far away from the devil that is Chris McLean."

"Amen," the others chorused, bowing their heads.

"And now," Geoff continued solemnly, "A moment of silence for our eliminated bro."

"We'll miss you buddy," DJ said softly.

"Sorry we had to vote you off," Cody offered sincerely.

"But we had no choice," Wally bowed his head in shame.

They were going to miss Owen's company, no doubt about it, and they would never be able to fully forgive themselves for voting the lug off the show, but...

"And here's to finally being able to breath in the cabins once more," the guys raised their cans once more, this time with noticeably more cheer as their guilty consciences worked to justify their actions and scrub their consciences clear.


	8. Chapter 8

**Author's** **Note:** Hey guys, so, it's been a while since my last update and I just wanted to let you know that the fic isn't dead (which you clearly know if you're reading this). Unfortunately though, pretty much everything before this chapter was written some time ago and we have just caught up to the point where I originally stopped writing for a plethora of reasons that I'm sure you'd all be bored stiff by. I _am_ still writing for the story though, as can plainly be seen by this new chapter, but I just wanted to let everyone know that the gaps between chapters are more likely to last longer than they did when this fic was first posted (though I am setting myself a two week deadline for the next chapter, so if I haven't posted anything more by the 20th bug me until I do.

Also, I wanted to thank everyone who has been reviewing the story so far, I realise that this is a fairly undiscovered niche of fanfiction and the first YJ/TDI crossover that I'm aware of.

Anyway, enough boring stuff... on with the story!

* * *

For the most part, Wally breezed through the first part of the next challenge as did, surprisingly, Cody. The boys, both of whom having a credible claim on the title 'teen genius', easily constructed themselves functioning bicycles from the scrapheaps they were given.

For the most part, so did the others, but Wally and Cody's designs had the benefit of being structurally stable enough to actually survive the first round of racing. Of the six other bikes in the game, only one other could say the same. Izzy.

When it came time for these three to race, however, Cody was at a distinct disadvantage to his more physically gifted opponents which, as it turned out, was his saving grace.

Wiping out early in the race, it came down to Wally and Izzy in a dash for the finish, with Wally crossing the line mere centimeters ahead of his opponent, earning him the coveted invincibility for the week. Invincibility that, as it turned out, was redundant given the nature of the challenge.

"Congratulations Wally," Chris offered heartily, before turning to Izzy, "Sorry Nutty, you're out."

"Huh?!" "What?!" "Why?!"

Chris shrugged unapologetically at the tide of confused protests, "Rules are rules. I said, and I quote, 'last one to cross the finish line gets eliminated'. Codester wiped out and never finished, so... Izzy, please make your way to the Dock of Shame and board the Boat of Losers."

In the crowd, as others voiced their protests, Heather quietly released a hushed cheer. She'd survived another challenge and Crazy Girl was officially gone!

Throughout it all, however, Izzy was quiet, until eyes turned to her, expecting to see her outrage, sure to be legendary considering her usual disposition. Instead, she smiled.

"Oh well," she shrugged, "It's been fun. Later guys!"

With a jubilant wave, she began to walk towards the docks, halting in her step as she walked by Wally.

Before he had the chance to offer any apologies or goodbyes, Izzy suddenly grabbed him by the back of the head, pulling him down and forcefully capturing his lips with her own, much to the surprise of her small audience, not to mention the viewers at home.

She released him a moment later, a sly grin on her face, the complete opposite of the stunned shock frozen on Wally's. She turned around, holding up two fingers in a 'V' on each hand.

"Peace out, hombres!"

With that, she giggled madly as she made her way to the dock, already making plans to search out the mysterious 'Artemis' that had captured Wally's heart and either congratulate her or remove her from the equation. She hadn't quite made up her mind just yet.

Back at the makeshift racetrack, Wally still stood stunned, mouth agape, as some of the others started to find their voices.

"Wow..." Chris finally spoke up, "That was unexpected."

Turning to face the cameraman, he continued, with a great deal more enthusiasm, "Well, Izzy's gone, and I don't think any of us saw _that_ coming. Especially not Wally."

"Man, I wonder how..." Chris paused, snapping his fingers expectantly before an intern appearing at his side in an instant, handing him a scrap of paper, which Chris quickly glanced at before continuing, "_Artemis_, reacts to that one."

"Wait," Chris's eyes turned back to the paper for a more appreciative look at the photograph that went along with the name. "Wow. Wally, how'd you land _this_ hottie?"

"..."

"Wally?" Chris turned to find the contestant still in a mild comatose state after Izzy's surprise lip lock.

"Uh," Chris turned back to the camera, "Wally seems to be a little out of it, but he should be fine... I think." The thud of an unconscious body hitting the floor was heard in the background, but Chris, suppressing a mild wince, ignored it, "Tune in next time to find out what happens next, right here, on Total! Drama! Island!"

* * *

Seated amidst the small amphitheater of the island campgrounds, seven teens, the remaining contestants of 'Total! Drama! Island!', endured through the cinematic 'masterpiece' known as 'Camp Psycho Killers: Unleashed', for the most part bored out of their minds, only two three individuals feeling anything akin to the true terror that the film was intended to inspire.

Really, the only one who actually seemed to be enjoying the experience was Geoff, and that was purely because Bridgette would jump, unwittingly huddling closer to him each time, with every poorly acted scream.

Two seats over, Wally was in a similar situation... only he very much did _not_ appreciate it when DJ tried to jump into his arms.

Amongst the others, Heather was filing her nails with disinterest, Leshawna was paying only the barest hints of attention to a film that had long since lost her regard, but which was currently offering quite possibly the only entertainment on the island and Cody was idly glancing at the video projector, wondering if he could cannibalize the parts to create something that would destroy all copies of this offense to the art of cinematography.

Eventually, mercifully, with the final stand of the piece's 'heroine' against the poorly digitized villain, the movie came to an end. And that's about when they heard the roar of a motorboat's engine.

The scramble to find the source, for the roar of a motor could never be a good sign at Camp Wawanakwa, was immediate, leading the teens to the docks, giving them just long enough to catch a glimpse of Chris and Chef aboard the motor propelled dinghy, leaving in a mad rush without even a glance behind them towards the teens they were supposedly responsible for.

"They can _not_ be serious," Heather muttered at the back of the group, watching their host disappear critically.

"Hey, what's this?" Geoff reached down to the wooden surface of the dock, picking up the stray newspaper that had found its way to his feet. "Uh, guys? I think you should probably take a look at this..."

He held out the paper so the headline was bared for all to see.

**_'ESCAPED SERIAL KILLER WITH A CHAINSAW AND A HOOK FOR A HAND ON THE LOOSE: BE CAUTIOUS. INFORM THE AUTHORITIES IF YOU HAVE ANY INFORMATION REGARDING THIS INDIVIDUAL, BUT DO NOT APPROACH UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES AS HE IS CONSIDERED EXTREMELY DANGEROUS'_**

Wally scoffed, sharing Heather's earlier sentiment, "They can _not_ be serious."

"What?" DJ asked, eyes nervously flitting about, "You think it's a fake?"

"Duh," Heather sneered derisively, "They show us a horror flick about an escaped psycho right before one conveniently escapes from an asylum? Please. It's just Chris trying to mess with us."

"But how can you be sure?" Geoff challenged uncertainly.

"Uh, hello?" Leshawna interrupted, grabbing Geoff and DJ's attention before gesturing to the water that lay just a few feet beneath them, "We're on an _island_. Far from any forms of civilization, let alone an insane asylum."

"Exactly," Heather nodded, before turning away, "Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go and shower."

"Hold it, Heather," Wally laid a hand on the girl's shoulder to halt her, "This whole thing stinks like McLean, so it's either a prank or a challenge. And since we've been bored stiff for three days now? My money's on challenge."

Heather considered the other teen's logic and found it to be flawless. She also had her own logic, however, which tended to be a bit more persuasive. "So, where's the challenge? What? Are we meant to just stand around scared all night? Not even Chris is _that_ stupid. It's a prank. And _I'm_ not going to give him the satisfaction of falling for it."

"Now, if you'll _excuse_ me," she repeated, as she walked off towards the communal bathrooms.

Wally shook his head as she left.

"So, you really think it's a challenge?" Bridgette asked.

"No doubt," Leshawna interjected with a nod, "Chris is _way_ too lazy to dash off like that unless ratings are involved."

"Okay? So, what?" Cody asked the group uncertainly, "Where's the challenge?"

The teens looked at each other with the same thought. With Chris? Who knew?

* * *

Wally had been right. The whole setup had been a challenge. Not that it came as much of a surprise, I mean, come on... a serial killer on the loose? Seriously?

Still, Wally kind of wished he'd been wrong.

One by one, Chef, dressed as a deranged killer with a chainsaw and a hook, had scared the crap out of them, grabbing them for good measure. No matter how hard Wally tried to keep them all together, Chef caught them when they were alone.

Heather, already alone and in the shower besides, had been the first target. Geoff and DJ, summoned away from the group by the unyielding call of nature, had been next. Bridgette hadn't lasted much longer. Not entirely convinced that the dangers had been staged, she had gone to the showers in order to check up on Heather, only to find herself falling into Chef's grip.

Wally had tried to keep Cody and Leshawna together after that point. The three of them had tried to maintain the belief that their friends' disappearances were all simply a part of Chris's deranged challenge.

Unfortunately, sticking together didn't help them that much against Chef.

All it took was the rustling of some bushes to distract them for but a brief moment, and when Wally and Leshawna turned back around Cody was gone.

Wally and Leshawna had spent the rest of the night in the midst of the bonfire area, back to back, eyes rarely blinking until sunrise for fear of Chef's arrival.

Though he was loathe to admit it, Wally came _extremely_ close on more than one occasion to grabbing Leshawna and running the hell out of there, already making tactical plans to return with the full might of the Justice League behind him.

"Calm down White Boy," Leshawna told him, feeling him flinch and shudder against her, as he'd been doing all night (unknown to her, repressing his instinct to run_run_**_run_**). "That no good, two-bit excuse for a cook ain't got nothing on my cousins. He and Chris are _not_ going to get the satisfaction of seeing us quiver and quake as we run screaming home to Momma!"

"Got it," Wally confirmed, repressing another shiver. The other girl had been confident from the start of this ridiculous ordeal that it was simply Chris's idea of a joke, and it was only that unrelenting confidence that had allowed Wally to keep himself from doing anything stupid on national television in his own moments of doubt.

"How much longer do you think he's gonna keep us out here?" Leshawna wondered idly.

"I don't know," Wally admitted, slumping as he struggled to keep his eyes open. "Did anyone actually survive the 'Psycho Camp Killer' movie?"

"I think so," Leshawna told him, unsure, "I wasn't really paying much attention by the end. But I'm pretty sure that the movie ended at dawn."

Wally peered out over the horizon, noting that daybreak would be at least another hour away. Sighing defeatedly, "I hope we can stay awake that long."

"Me too, White Boy," Leshawna yawned. "Me too."

* * *

"Oh, come on!" Chris whined as he walked up to the slumped duo in the bonfire area, the crack of dawn behind him and his hair and makeup adjusted perfectly despite the ungodly hour. "You guys are just so _boring_!"

"Game over," he conceded, Chef appearing, disappointedly, at his shoulder, throwing his chainsaw to the ground in frustration before crossing his arms and huffing irritably. "You guys win."

"Huh?" Leshawna blinked sleepily as she peered at the host, only just now actually registering his presence, "What do we win?"

"Invincibility," Chris reluctantly admitted, before adding brightly, "Not that it's worth much this week. This episode's loser has already been decided."

"Who?" Wally asked, as Leshawna added, hopefully, "Was it Heather?"

"Are you kidding me?" Chris snorted, "That girl is _gold_. Nah, loser this week is the one who did worst in the challenge."

"But..." Wally began confusedly, "Didn't Heather get caught first?"

"Technically," Chris nodded happily, "And, normally, that would've been enough to ensure her elimination. But DJ managed to eliminate himself from the challenge before Chef even got a chance at him. Dude totally ran for the hills at the sound of a bunny hopping up alongside him. It was _priceless_."

"DJ?" Wally moaned. "Not DJ."

"'Fraid so, Wallman," Chris smirked. "The gentle giant crybaby is already on his way aboard the Boat of Losers, leaving just six contestants for the next horrifying episode of Total... Drama... Island!"

* * *

Later that day, once Wally had been given the time to at least _try_ and catch up on a full night's sleep, Wally and Geoff strode steadily through the door of the boys' cabin, catching Bridgette's eye as she herself emerged from the girls'.

Without much more than a simple gesture on Wally's part, the trio began to walk away from the cabins, making their way down to the dock.

As they walked, things certainly appeared normal. Geoff and Bridgette eyed one another almost habitually whenever they thought nobody was looking and Wally rolled his eyes as they danced around each other, all the while the trio chatted about one topic or another.

To the other contestants, it wasn't all that suspicious. Or, at this point in the game at least, it wasn't any more suspicious than anything that anyone else was doing. Paranoia had a way of getting to people like that, where one would start to believe that even something as innocuous as three friends chatting on the docks was a part of some dark scheme.

Well, you know what they say. It's only paranoia if you're wrong.

With only six contestants left in the game, and Chris steadily increasing the number of challenges where players could be eliminated without a vote, everyone knew that their chances of surviving the next episode were going to depend on their skill to get them through the game and, on the off chance that their _was _actually a vote at this point, their allies.

"We really need to stick together guys," Wally told his co-conspirators seriously, safely out of earshot of the rest of the competitors. "I don't know about the others, but Heather's _definitely_ got us all slated for the chopping block. We need to eliminate her next chance we get."

"You're telling me," Geoff scoffed. "That girl is just a little ball of _mean_. She _totally _sold out Deej back in that hide and seek challenge!"

"She _is_ the only one here who's actually evil," Bridgette agreed hesitantly. "I mean, I don't really know Cody, but Leshawna's actually pretty nice... except to Heather. But, I kind of understand that."

"Exactly," Wally nodded seriously. "And look at what she did to the Gophers. She made alliances with half the group and then stabbed them all in the back to make sure she got _this_ far. Who knows what she'll do if she stays here any longer?"

Though Bridgette was kind of reluctant to agree to anything bad about another person, the fact was that the surfer had already seen Heather play both Leshawna and Cody in the past, through misinformation and the barest hint of flirting respectively.

"Girl has _got_ to go," Geoff agreed wholeheartedly. Righteous anger concerning his friend's betrayal aside, Heather had been making _way _too many comments about his and Bridgette's 'alliance' and its dangers over the past few days.

Bridgette nodded uncertainly, uncomfortable with the behind the back scheming her former teammates were doing, but also knowing that Heather was a dangerous threat to leave unchecked.

"Okay then," Wally confirmed. "After the next challenge, we vote off Heather. That means that she _can't_ be allowed to win, or we might not get another chance to get rid of her."

Both blondes shared a solemn look before nodding their agreement. Heather was a strong competitor in her own right and not nearly so averse to underhanded tactics as the rest of the remaining contestants. She was, without a doubt, the single biggest threat to the very idea of _any_ of the others walking away with the prize money.

Working together though, Wally was sure that they could get rid of her.

"I'm pretty sure that if we stick together, we'll all make it to the final three."

* * *

Safely hidden away in the editing room, Chris watched the conversation idly whilst Chef bobbed his head obliviously to the music playing from his headphones.

_"I'm pretty sure that if we stick together, we'll all make it to the final three."_

"Huh," Chris acknowledged, seemingly surprised for the benefit of the camera. "_Finally_, someone besides Heather is actually playing this game. Sheesh, I was worried we'd get through the whole season without another alliance."

"Still," Chris grinned as Chef remained willfully ignorant to his very presence. "This late in the game... an alliance really is an unfair advantage. I can't just let that go on. It wouldn't be fair to the other contestants."

Chris's grin evolved into a smirk. "I suppose I'll just have to do something about that. Tune in next time on Total! Drama! Island!"


End file.
